When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? by George Carlin

Author:George Carlin
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: Humor, Form, General, Non-fiction:Humor, Large type books, Essays, American wit and humor
ISBN: 9780786273461
Publisher: Thorndike Press
Published: 2005-03-02T06:54:46.571662+00:00

ON BENDED KNEE

This idea could spread. It might even inspire young men to make more realistic marriage proposals: “Honey, let’s get married. I realize I’m asking you to take a chance on a proven loser—I don’t have any money or stuff like that—but maybe—hear me out—maybe we could find a cheap, unclean apartment in a dangerous neighborhood and have more kids than we can afford. If we’re lucky, maybe a few of them won’t be born sickly and disfigured, in spite of our genetic histories. Meanwhile, I could find a dehumanizing, low-paying, dead-end job with no benefits, while you stay home watching TV and gaining weight.

“And if things get bad—like if I get paralyzed, and you get raped by Mexican sailors and lose your mind and start crying all the time—we can always move in with my parents. They love kids, and their incest counseling is almost complete. And I’ve noticed Dad’s ‘episodes’ are starting to result in far less property damage than before. What do you say, honey? You want to give it a shot? Maybe our second set of HIV tests will turn up negative.”

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