We Never Asked for Wings by Vanessa Diffenbaugh

Author:Vanessa Diffenbaugh
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Published: 2015-08-17T16:00:00+00:00

Wes was back. Without warning he’d burst into their lives, showing up on her doorstep and shaking Alex’s hand and taking him out to dinner. I would have stayed. His words echoed in Letty’s mind, and it had taken an entire bottle of wine to wash away the image of what her life might have been like if he had; so much wine, in fact, that she’d woken up sick at four in the morning to a second shock: Alex hadn’t come home. She was about to call the police when the front door opened and he stumbled through, his eyes bloodshot and his hair full of dirt. He’d been out all night with Yesenia.

It was too much.

Wes, Alex, Yesenia—everything. Standing across from her son in the predawn darkness, Letty felt the walls begin to pulse. She grasped the edge of the sofa as Alex swayed past, on his way to bed. His motion upset the air; she felt it blow against her face, cool and fresh, and she tried to breathe it in, to steady herself—but then Alex disappeared into the bedroom, and it felt as if all the oxygen disappeared with him.

She collapsed onto the couch. What had he been doing, out all night? Letty could imagine all too well, and the thought made the room spin, a woozy pressure building. Everything she had tried to do, it was all too little too late. The new school—the lies it had taken to get him there—none of it mattered. Their family history was set on repeat, and her uncertain attempts to chart a new course were no match for destiny. Even Maria Elena had been no match. Stomach lurching, Letty turned her face to the couch cushion, pressing her forehead against the filthy material. She should set an alarm, she thought, but she couldn’t move. And what did it matter if they missed a day of school, or even a week? It wouldn’t change anything.

But just as she was about to surrender to sleep, Luna cried out. The sound echoed in the silent apartment, growing louder. Go to her, Letty silently pleaded to Alex, but there were no footsteps, no whispered comforts—only Luna’s cries, tunneling through the unbreathable air.

She had to get up. Pulling herself to standing, Letty felt her way back to the bedroom. Luna had lost her blankets; her skin was cold to the touch. Finding them, she tucked the corners tight around her daughter’s shoulders and then sat down next to Luna, rubbing her back until she grew calm. On the other side of the room, Alex sat on his bed facing the window, watching the morning’s first flights line up on the runway. The collar of his shirt quivered with every careful breath, until he too lay down on his bed and fell asleep in front of the rising sun.

Letty lay down. Wriggling close, she felt her daughter’s heartbeat against her own, the rhythm like a jolt, recharging her. She couldn’t surrender. At any other

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