Unleash the Power of the Female Brain: Supercharging Yours for Better Health, Energy, Mood, Focus, and Sex by Daniel G. Amen M. D
Author:Daniel G. Amen, M. D. [Daniel G. Amen, M. D.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Health & Fitness, Healthy Living, Alternative Therapies
ISBN: 9780307888969
Google: QOmYU8iD2q4C
Publisher: Crown Publishing Group
Published: 2013-02-11T16:00:00+00:00
View âKill the ANTs.â
SUMMARY OF NINE DIFFERENT TYPES OF ANTS
1. âAlwaysâ thinking: Overgeneralizing a situation; these thoughts usually start with words like always, never, everyone, and every time
2. Focusing on the negative: Focusing on whatâs going wrong in a situation and ignoring everything that could be construed as positive
3. Fortune-telling: Predicting the future in a negative way
4. Mind reading: Arbitrarily believing you know what another person thinks, even though they have not told you
5. Thinking with your feelings: Believing your negative feelings without ever questioning them.
6. Guilt beatings: Thinking in words like should, must, ought, or have to
7. Labeling: Attaching a negative label to yourself or others
8. Personalization: Construing innocuous events as having personal meaning
9. Blame: Blaming other people for the problems in your life
Empathy: A Blessing and a Curse
As we saw in chapter 2, empathy is a unique female strength. The downside to empathy is getting drawn into other peopleâs sorrows and pain. That can lead you to become sad right along with them, as you take on their issues as if they were your own. You might also feel guilty about enjoying yourself and your own successes while people you care about are having a harder time. Many women feel guilty or anxious about making time and space for their own concerns, especially if a loved one is in trouble.
Any of us might be vulnerable to any of the ANTs. But empathy and a focus on your own emotions makes you prey to two ANTs in particular:
Thinking with Your FeelingsâA key female strength is knowing what youâre feeling. But the dark side of that strength is thinking with your feelings. For example, âI feel like you donât love me.â Or âI feel like Iâm being treated unfairly.â Maybe you do feel that way, but is it true? Sometimes feelings lie, especially when you are tired, hungry, worried about something else, under a lot of stress, deprived of the brain chemicals you need, or struggling with a hormonal issue. Donât let your negative feelings rule your thoughts. Write them down and look for the evidence behind them.
Guilt BeatingsâWhen you think in words like should, must, ought, or have to, you are likely beating yourself with guilt. I have heard this described as a âshower of shoulds.â Women are often taught to put other peopleâs needs first, so they feel guilty when they stand up for themselves or take time to de-stress. Guilt is frequently the result. Iâm not saying you should ignore your own personal moral code. But see if you can reframe the guilt beatings into statements of what you truly want. Instead of âI should call up Casey and help her through her breakup,â ask yourself if the behavior fits your goals and time. If the answer is no, call when it makes more sense for you. Having a process to free yourself from the guilt-beating ANTs will help settle down the noise in your head so you can make better choices.
Intuition: A Strength and a Weakness
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