Trust No Aunty by Maria Qamar

Author:Maria Qamar [Qamar, Maria]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Gallery Books
Published: 2017-08-01T04:00:00+00:00

Rather than try to give you advice about how to flirt with a desi girl (after all, we’re all different), I thought I’d share some real messages from my in-box that best exemplify the art of seduction.

—Facebook user, India

—Saim, 40, Bangalore

—Dr. Asher, 30, UK

—Mas, 55, Pakistan

—Shoeaz, 28, India

I hope you learned something. I’m rooting for you.

What the hell is up with that hair? Why is it so poofy?

Who wears it like that anymore? Is that a mesh tank top with a bandana around the neck? Why does he slur his Hindi words like he’s perpetually drunk? Why does he stutter when he says your name? Oh, right. This guy is This is a package deal. You won’t get through a single con-way too Bollywood. He’s great for catching a few movies and playing B-wood versation without this guy mentioning his mother. He thinks trivia, but you’re just not his Paro.

this is charming and will make him seem like a family-oriented dude, when it simply strengthens the stereotype that his mother probably does his laundry and takes the Do you like wearing lace bras as tops? Then forget bones out of the fish before serving it to him. Try to turn down an invitation to about this one. Your God-loving boo will have you cen-the family dinner within the first few dates. You don’t want Auntyji hunting you soring curse words and throwing back holy water at the down if this all goes south.

club. He doesn’t believe in dating outside the religion but will probably do a lot of things in the sack that will make you want to convert. (I’m going to hell for this one.) Our people have a very special ability to completely blow things out of proportion. The Rich Kid particularly suffers from this problem. He’s the guy who shows up Could be any of the above, could be none, or could be all. You’ll never know in the most expensive car, holding a bouquet of at least until you go out there and explore. For me, it’s a mix between the Bollywood a thousand roses and a diamond necklace on the first Hero and the Beefcake. Although I’ve been known to date. The only downside to this is you might not be the only girl having break-date a lotta Rich Kid/Mama’s Boy types. I had one fast at Tiffany’s that week.

great outing with a God-Lover, but that didn’t turn out so hot when he said he’d “fight” to have me accepted.

NO THANK YOU.

Put that parantha down, because it’s time to hit the gym for the third time this afternoon. The Beefcake will make you want to take up rock-climbing just so you can jump him properly. He’s supersweet and loving, but will probably serve you unseasoned chicken breasts for dinner every night.

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