Today I F****d Up by Thomas Mitchell
Author:Thomas Mitchell
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Simon & Schuster Australia
Published: 2021-03-03T00:00:00+00:00
* * *
Twenty-four hours earlier
âDoes this look normal to you?â
In the mirror, Dennis watched on as I wiggled my front tooth back and forth with my tongue. He shook his head.
âOf course, it doesnât,â I continued. âBecause you fucked it up!â
We were sitting in Dennisâs clinic, which was really just his living room with a dental chair in the corner. There were religious icons all over the joint which to me sent the wrong message. Time for your root canal, letâs pray it goes well!
âPeter, Iâm sorry, you know Iâm still learning,â said Dennis, leaning back against a picture of a disappointed Jesus. He seemed oblivious to the fact that, as a dentist, this isnât something you should admit out loud.
âLet me fix it,â he offered, patting the chair and beckoning me over. âYou know I love you like a brother!â
I didnât love Dennis like a brother, I loved him like a second cousin â because thatâs exactly what he was. And that was the only reason I let him anywhere near my mouth. Thatâs how it works with the Greeks. If your uncleâs a mechanic, he fixes your car. If your sisterâs husband has a fruit shop, thatâs where you go to buy oranges.
And unfortunately, if your second cousin is a clueless dentist whose makeshift clinic feels more like an Orthodox church, then he âfixesâ your teeth.
While Louise refused to let Dennis treat the kids, I had no choice. Every time I threatened to go to someone else, Dennis would tell his mother, who would phone my mother, who would then call me.
âPETER! PETER!â My mother was unable to start a sentence without yelling my name at least twice. âDennisâs mother told me you want a new dentist? I grew up with her in the village!â
She added a little spice to the word âvillageâ just so I understood how long theyâd known each other.
âI know that, Mum,â I replied. âBut heâs no good!â
âPETER! PETER! How your cousin get better if you donât heeeeelp him? Eίναι αίμα, Eίναι οικογÎνεια! He is blood, he is family!â
âBut is he actually a dentist?â
And with that the conversation was over, the Greek guilt trip in full force. In the last couple of months, Iâd developed an ache in my front tooth and begrudgingly gone to see Dennis about it.
âThat looks like ââ he paused and scanned through a book, flipping pages in a hurry ââ an abscess!â
Iâll never know if he was right, but either way Dennis pulled the tooth out and whacked a false one in. Over the past few weeks the tooth had refused to stay in place, constantly feeling like it was going to drop out.
Now that I had the interview lined up, I couldnât risk any fuck-ups, so here I was, back for another round of experimental treatment.
âI can use a little dental cement to keep it in place, but you have to be careful,â warned Dennis. âIt needs time to settle, so avoid alcohol and hot drinks like coffee or tea because they will soften the cement.
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