Thoughts Point to Yes by Cara Bertrand

Author:Cara Bertrand
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Cara Bertrand
Published: 2012-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

I was doing it, kissing a stranger, a boy I’d just met. At first it was fine, just a press of our mouths against each other. Nice enough. Max’s lips were soft, warm. He tasted like Coke, or maybe I did. He broke away, looking down at me with surprised eyes. Delighted eyes. I should have stopped there, while I was ahead. I wanted to. I even parted my lips, to say something, but didn’t get the chance before Max was kissing me again.

For all his seeming shyness, Max was no novice at kissing. This was a kiss, a real kiss, with tongue and heat, and my body reacted. Before I knew what I was doing, I was pulling him closer, pressing against him. His arms came tight around my waist, his hands warm and strong against my back. I was holding a stupid cup of soda in my free hand and I pushed him back toward the wall, fumbling to set it on the ledge.

I missed. It crashed to the floor, ice spraying everywhere as the plastic glass spun in a circle. I jumped back, shocked into awareness as the cold splashed against my shins. I sucked in a breath, another. Max was breathing heavy, too, looking at me. I felt like everyone, the whole club, was looking at me, though it was probably only a few people. We were in the back, in the dark, away from it all.

But it was all wrong, too. My heart was pounding, and my brain was shrieking at me, pointing out inconsistencies from what it expected. Alert! Alert! Too tall! it warned. Eyes not blue, hair too brown, arms at the wrong angle, in the wrong places. Wrong wrong wrong wrong. It blared like an emergency siren and now that it was going, I could not turn it off.

I stumbled back another step and my eyes probably looked wild, frightened. They felt that way.

“Lainey—” Max said. He didn’t move closer but he did hold out a hand.

“I’m sorry!” I said, stepping back again.

“Wait! Lainey! What—?”

“I’m sorry,” I repeated. “Just—sorry.” I whirled, propelling myself toward the stage.

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