The Zombie Theories | Book 1 | Chaos Theory by Restucci Rich

Author:Restucci, Rich [Restucci, Rich]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Zombie Apocalypse
Publisher: Severed Press
Published: 2015-10-05T04:00:00+00:00

Repercussions and Loss

Son of a BITCH! I am NOT dainty! I do not faint, I pass the F out! I am a large, muscular individual. I was in PRISON for Christ’s sake. Dainty people don’t spend time in prison, and no, I was nobody’s bitch.

That big, arrogant, goat cheese-gobbling, shitbird should keep his Andre the Giant-sized mouth shut! I know he didn’t actually say anything (HE FUCKING CAN’T), he wrote it, but the sentiment is still the same.

He has stones calling me dainty. I mean, Jesus, the guy would look down on Shaq. He’s bigger than a God damn great white shark. EVERYBODY is smaller than him. He has balls calling me insensitive too, after what HE wrote in MY book! If it wasn’t important, I would cross that shit out. What is it called? Redacted? Yeah, as soon as I get around to it, I’m gonna redact the shit out of his totally unnecessary comments. Fucks up the flow.

He thinks he’s got a stinkeye? Just wait. Prick can’t talk, so all he has is his stupid looks. No, wait, that came out wrong. I don’t think he’s pretty, he has all those awful looks he gives me. Reproach, disappointment, anger. You get it. He’s not my dad, I’m older than he is.

I’m still thinking of a way to exact revenge. Maybe I’ll steal his precious notebook so he can just shut the F up all the time. Let’s also not forget that I ran into a burning building to get the notebook.

Maybe I’ll just keep mentioning how wonderful his voice is. Ha!

Dick.

So they kept me zip tied until we got to the airfield. I thought that was unfair. Kat was all smiles and she and Ship had a big old guffaw. Except his was silent. It was ridiculous seeing him shake. That’s how he laughs. Fucker doesn’t make a sound, he just shakes. HEAR THAT SHIP YOU BIG BASTID?? YOU LOOK STUPID WHEN YOU LAUGH!

Teach him to read my shit. Zombie fucking apocalypse and the one and only time the prick laughs is at me when I’m tied up on the bench seat of a fuel truck.

So when they were done laughing, the army guy pulls a gun and points it at me. “He’s bitten,” is all the prick says. Not my best day. Kat steps between us and folds her arms so now the gun is pointed directly at her, now I’m a little antsy.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, calm down, Sarge, I’m immune.”

“Nobody’s immune. I’ve seen a thousand people killed by bites or scratches. They all died. Every one.” His weapon was still pointed at Kat, and I could see Ship inching the nose of his rifle up.

“I’m going to pull my pant leg up, then I’m going to pull my shirt down. You’ll see the bites that I got before today have healed.”

He kept his gun on us and I gently nudged Kat to the side. I showed him the one on my collar bone, and he didn’t seem impressed.

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