The Voyage of the UnderGod by Kirby Smith

Author:Kirby Smith [Smith, Kirby]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781940423036
Publisher: Four Winds Press

Luther was in his cabin, seated before the immense communications control panel, talking with Evor Lark via the videophone.

Lark said, “Let’s talk ratings. Overseas we’re holding up well. Domestically we’ve fallen off since the pirate attack, but the product spinoffs are going gangbusters. I’m told UnderGrog is the new carrot juice.

“Too bad about these darn doldrums though, can’t shake ‘em, can we? We need to get to Rio, things will really open up then. We’ve got undercover cameramen ready to go and native guides to show the crew around town, if you know what I mean.”

“I’m not sure I do,” said Luther.

“Girls, Luther, girls. Hootchie-kootchie. What do they say these days? Gettin’ busy.”

Luther said, “Let’s put our cards on the table. Do you mean to say you’re going to facilitate my men into fornication?”

“They’ve been at sea for months. I would think their levees are ready to burst by now, don’t you?”

“I’m not liking what I hear, Evor.”

“Don’t worry. We’ll snip and clip to stay sensitive to family values. But we need a younger demographic.”

“Evor, I will remind you the UnderGod is to be an example, a shining city on a hill. Have you forgotten already those talks we had? Or were you not sincere?”

Evor said, “You can’t be an example if no one’s watching. Look, with any luck someone gets a venereal disease. Then you have sin, repentance, forgiveness, redemption and gosh, I don’t know what else. That’s your department.”

“I will not expose my men to venereal disease for the sake of the ratings. I’m the ship’s captain. The men will get leave only on my approval.”

“Luther, I repeat, the ratings are down. You know as well as I do you can’t use a flop TV show as a springboard to anything.”

“I want to talk to Saul.”

“Saul’s not around much these days. He’s golfing in Scotland. We think he’s looking at retiring. He’s pretty much told me I’m in charge of this project.”

“Back there, maybe. Not out here.”

Evor said, “I can see I’ve roused your inner patriarch. Let’s talk in a few days.”

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