The Twiller by David Derrico

Author:David Derrico
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: funny, comedic, humor, Humorous, Science Fiction, Young Adult, Adventure, derrico, action, scifi
Publisher: David Derrico
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

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Part VIII

Ian did not have an opportunity to ask where the shuttle was heading, but he supposed it didn’t really matter. Anywhere away from the “unique charms” of Huh? Why E? would do him just fine. He looked around the shuttle, his eyes bulging at the sight of the other prisoners condemned to deportation. Some were normal, which was to say no more odd and misshapen than the majority of aliens Ian had seen on his travels. But several were even more unusual than Ian was used to. There was an entire row of lamprey-like worms, long slimy creatures with a huge, circular, toothed mouth where their faces should be. One had fastened itself to the in-flight magazine and appeared to be making sucking noises.

Several rows back, a single fox-like creature sat restrained in a row all to itself. Its intelligent eyes darted this way and that, and it flexed its fingers beneath its restraints. Even bound securely, it still moved with a surprising agility and it was clear to Ian that it was quite a dangerous creature, indeed.

And sitting silently next to Ian and the Twiller was what appeared to be a potted Ficus tree wearing a lei. It turned out to be the best traveling companion Ian had ever had.

The flight was long, but uneventful, and Ian actually managed to relax and catch some sleep. Which was just as well, since he had already seen the movie, Happy, Texas, several years ago on a flight to Chicago, and it was so bad he had seriously considered walking out.

When Ian awoke, the shuttle was landing, and he was herded out the door once it had arrived at the terminal. He flowed outside, following the mass of deported aliens, and tried to keep the Twiller close to him. He emerged into a throng of people and a traffic scene that reminded him of El Leigh, with the principle difference being that all the aircars here were yellow.

There was also a good bit more honking.

Ian stood in line at the taxi stand by the curb and, after an hour of waiting, finally was able to get into a cab. It was filthy. “Where to?” asked the cab driver, its accent thick and difficult to understand.

“Take me to the nearest hotel,” Ian said. “The nearest nice hotel,” he amended.

The cab driver nodded and sped off, which was quite an accomplishment considering the level of traffic. But the driver weaved in and out and up and around in a display that was either masterful, or insane. Ian sat back and figured it was better to assume it was the former. He tried to avoid looking out the windshield, but he did catch a glimpse of a rather large sign that stretched above the stack of cars leaving the airport. Ian got a good view of it as the cab driver came within inches of hitting it. It read:

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