The Time Traveler's B-Movie Blog by Jeff O'Brien

Author:Jeff O'Brien [O'Brien, Jeff]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2023-09-19T22:00:00+00:00

SEVEN.

We did get back to the party. And, it was one hell of a time. I had vague memories of falling asleep on the couch long after almost everyone had left, but awoke in a far, far different setting.

I was in a small, filthy room, feeling intense lower back pain, most likely the result of the incredibly uncomfortable bed I was on. Standing by the door of the grungy and otherwise non-descript room were two men in very authentic wild west cowboy costumes.

“Right on time,” said one of them. I found it kind of funny how his long mustache wiggled over his lip as he spoke, but nothing else about the situation felt even remotely humorous.

The thunderous ringing of a bell outside, as well as the commotion of an excited crowd filled my ears. The two cowboys grabbed me from the bed and dragged me out of the room and down a creaky and unstable set of stairs. The commotion I heard was coming from the lower floor where I was greeted by a saloon full of more drunken cowboys. I was confused and scared, but mostly just by how the place smelled. With everyone looking so filthy and having such brown, rotten-looking teeth, I figured place wouldn’t smell very good. But it smelled fine. Then I realized there were lights and camera operators strategically placed all over the room. This was clearly a movie set, but why was I so scared about whatever was about to take place there?

A fat, mustachioed man with a sheriff’s badge and an ill-fitting three-piece suit approached me and punched me in the face. The punch actually hurt. This was a movie, right? It should have been a fake punch. Maybe that was a blooper. Either way, I had a feeling that Titor was up to something again, most likely exacting his revenge on me for being such a failure. Anyways, the portly sheriff looked familiar, just like an actor I’d seen in some 80s Full Moon skin flicks. I couldn’t place his name but this was definitely that actor in costume. “It’s time for you to answer for your crimes, man from the future,” he said.

“And…what crimes might those be?” I asked, tensing under the tightening grip of the two cowboys who had been watching me sleep. I realized that I knew what I was going to say, as if I had rehearsed these lines. Oh shit! I’m in this movie? My acting career took another step after the Halloween Spectacular I did with Sarah in 1988? I looked down at myself and realized I was wearing my regular clothes. Jeans. Sneakers. Captain Harlock skull-logo t-shirt. I was playing a time traveler from the future? Nice.

I was still scared though. I had the feeling that Titor had blended fiction with reality, and not only was I acting in a movie that was probably being filmed in the late 80s, I might also be about to die here. But wait, if this is a movie about a time traveler from the future, and I’m that character, I can’t die, I thought.

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