The Sick Box by Matthew Fries

Author:Matthew Fries [Fries, Matthew]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2021-12-30T00:00:00+00:00

666

"So, you see, I need some help. I was wondering if you could fill me in a bit on Hepburn P. Is there any way I can contact him?"

Professor Norris's office was sparsely furnished and smaller than I had expected. He had one framed issue of S Magazine on his walls, in which he was featured on the cover, shaking hands with Satan herself. The issue title was, "Doing the Deed." Next to that, a motivational poster hung. It read, "LUCK ONLY EXISTS IN THE MINDS OF THE RUDDERLESS. Douglas Thompson," and had a picture of a man fiercely focused on kayaking through an enormous rush of whitewater.

I stood in front of Professor Norris as he sat at his desk, which was mostly empty, no computer, no papers, just a neatly arranged brown desk pad and a pen holder with a few pens and pencils in it. The Professor was leaning back in his chair, deep in thought. He had arranged his fingers and thumbs together like a pyramid and kept tapping his index fingers against his philtrum. He stopped. Creativity had struck him, I suppose.

"Hepburn P. Yes. You can localize, by the extensive action items in your workspace, that there are superannuated vortals in play here. To compellingly plagiarize the bleeding edge economics of global holistics and deploy compellingly…"

"Professor," I cut him off. "If I may. Can we take this offline?"

"Certainly, Karen. I am here to assist you in maximizing your potential to succeed. Do go on."

"I can come and go as I please. I can exist with them. Pick things up, make noises, little Mallory can see me. I can communicate with her. The husband is lying to his wife. The wife is lying to the husband. They are at each other's throats one minute, but deeply in love the next. So what does it mean? I mean, what good is any of it? Where do I go from here? If I can't actually take over the child. I have been nibbling on Mallory's heel, trying to find a way to complete the merge, but all I do is make her sick. And the soft rot is getting worse and worse. And to top it off…have you heard of a reiki practitioner?"

"Reiki! Those bastards," the professor said. "What level?"

"Seventeen."

"Sonofabitch. We have to get moving. She'll have you exorcised in no time. Perhaps the board will have some input. How is your presentation coming along? Monday is almost upon us."

"I almost have the presentation ready," I said, "but I am missing one crucial figure, and I cannot get a sense of what it might be. I think this is the key that will open the doors of Hell. That is why I am here. Hepburn P. knows. He did it. He got there. I have to contact him. Look. Look at my slides."

I set my laptop on Professor Norris's desk. A few deft keystrokes later, and I had the latest draft of my PowerPoint presentation up. I flicked through the slides to show the professor what I had been working on.

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