The Retreat by Zara Raheem

Author:Zara Raheem
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2023-04-25T00:00:00+00:00

13

Sunday morning, and Nadia finds herself up earlier than usual. She hardly slept—partly because the bottom bunk required her to contort her body in ways she didn’t know were possible, but also because she couldn’t stop thinking about what took place the night before. She and Aman have quarreled in the past, but never have their fights escalated like this. Between his dishonesty and her refusal to come home, they’ve taken the worst practices of her father and used them against each other.

After Shoaib heads off to flag football practice, Zeba gets the boys dressed and ready for a read-along organized by the local library. “You sure you don’t want to come along?” she asks on their way out. “We can grab brunch after and then swing by your house if you need to pick up a few things.”

“I’m going to stay back, if that’s okay,” Nadia says, covering a yawn with her hand. Between all the sugar she consumed last night, the lack of sleep, and her unbridled anxiety, her body is one crisis away from falling to bits. She rolls her head forward, using both fists to knead out the knots that have formed at the nape of her neck. A few hours of quiet time might give her a chance to figure out her next steps. As Zeba’s car pulls out of the driveway, she pours herself another cup of chai and heads outside.

Perching herself on the front bench, Nadia rests her sore limbs. She typically prepares Aman’s breakfast at this time, and for a moment she catches herself wondering if he’s eaten. But after what transpired last night, she quickly reminds herself that Aman’s diet is the least of her concerns. She can’t allow herself to arrive at compassion without receiving some answers first.

She looks up at the sky, squinting from the brightness. The sun is out, yet a still coolness hangs in the air, causing her to shiver beneath her T-shirt. Nadia wraps both hands around the coffee mug, trying to absorb the warmth from the liquid inside. A few feet away, a gentle rustling diverts her attention. From the bushes, a fuzzy-tailed squirrel emerges through the leaves and darts up the front steps, its beady eyes focusing squarely on her.

“Aren’t you a funny thing?” Nadia says, staring back. In response, the squirrel alights onto its back legs, twitching its tail rapidly. Nadia monitors its movement as it scampers onto the patio and makes its way directly in front of where she is seated. “I don’t have any food for you. See?” Nadia holds out a hand to show it is empty, but she already senses that food is not what it’s after.

Nadia sighs and sets down her mug. She slides down, kneeling until she is no less than a foot from its whiskered face. “Can we not do this right now?” she whispers. If this is another one of her mom’s attempts to connect, she wants to make it clear that she’s not emotionally ready for this interaction—at least not today.

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