The Restaurant at the End of the Universe by Douglas Adams

Author:Douglas Adams [Adams, Douglas]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi, azw3, pdf
Tags: General, Fiction, Science Fiction, Science Fiction - General
ISBN: 9781439557563
Publisher: Paw Prints
Published: 2008-07-15T04:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 17

76

“I see.”

“You don’t see. You don’t see at all. I haven’t got to the clever bit yet. You want to hear the clever bit?”

“Tell me the clever bit.”

“I’ll tell you the clever bit.”

Ford thought for a moment, trying to remember what the clever bit was.

“The clever bit,” he said, “is this. You film it happening.”

“Clever.”

“That’s not the clever bit. This is the clever bit, I remember now that this is the clever bit. The clever bit is that you then thread the film in the projector. . . backwards!”

“Backwards?”

“Yes. Threading it backwards is definitely the clever bit. So then, you just sit and watch it, and everything just appears to spiral upwards out of the plughole and fill the bath. See?”

“And that’s how the Universe began is it?” said Arthur.

“No,” said Ford, “but it’s a marvellous way to relax.”

He reached for his wine glass.

“Where’s my wine glass?” he said.

“It’s on the floor.”

“Ah.”

Tipping back his chair to look for it, Ford collided with the small green waiter who was approaching the table carrying a portable telephone. Ford excused himself to the waiter explaining that it was because he was extremely drunk.

The waiter said that that was quite alright and that he perfectly understood. Ford thanked the waiter for his kind indulgence, attempted to tug his forelock, missed by six inches and slid under the table.

“Mr Zaphod Beeblebrox?” inquired the waiter.

“Er, yeah?” said Zaphod, glancing up from his third steak.

“There is a phone call for you.”

“Hey, what?”

“A phone call, sir.”

“For me? Here? Hey, but who knows where I am?”

One of his minds raced. The other dawdled lovingly over the food it was still shovelling in.

“Excuse me if I carry on, won’t you?” said his eating head and carried on.

There were now so many people after him he’d lost count. He shouldn’t have made such a conspicuous entrance. Hell, why not though, he thought. How do you know you’re having fun if there’s no one watching you have it?

“Maybe someone here tipped off the Galactic Police,” said Trillian. “Everyone saw you come in.”

76

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