The Recipe Box by Viola Shipman

Author:Viola Shipman
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: St. Martin's Press

Seventeen

“Live without any regrets, Sam,” Gary said. “That’s the only advice I can give to you. Life goes by so fast—in one blink of God’s eye, as your grandmother likes to say—so make sure you have no regrets. Do what makes you happy.”

He stopped and pulled out his wallet, whose black leather had been worn nearly clear on both sides. He opened it and pulled from a small compartment the letter he’d received decades ago.

“You know what this means, don’t you?” her father asked.

“That you need a new wallet,” Sam said, and laughed.

“I had convinced myself not only that this life wasn’t good enough—this place, this job—but that I wasn’t good enough,” he said. “I was. You are. No matter where you land.”

He hesitated. “One of the hardest things about being a parent is letting go,” he said. “Doing everything you believe is right, and then trusting you’ve done a good enough job and just … letting go.” Gary looked at his daughter. “One of the hardest things I’ve ever done was kissing you good-bye, right here in this orchard, and letting you go off to college in New York. The hardest thing for your mom and grandma was leaving you there, letting you be on your own … letting you be an adult, letting you make your own decisions, letting you soar.” He stopped. “But I didn’t have children to be replicas of myself.”

He folded the letter and returned it to his wallet. “Parents should be respected but not idolized.”

“I idolize you, Dad,” Sam said softly. “I always have.”

“Don’t,” Gary said, looking his daughter directly in the eye. “Parents are human, just like you. We make good decisions and bad ones. We are flawed. But I didn’t have children who only did what I said, or wanted to be like I was. And I will die with regret if I ever felt you or your brother lived only to please your mother and me.” He stopped and watched the workers pick fruit. “We have choices. They often don’t. We’re blessed in so many ways. So, please, I beg you, be who you want to be. Whether it’s here or New York, whether it’s alone or with someone … but don’t let guilt force you into a life you don’t want. I love you, and I’ll always love you no matter what decisions you make, because you’re an amazing person. I just want you to believe that you’re an amazing person.”

“Dad,” Sam said softly.

“And one last thing,” he said. “You know I ran cross-country in high school, too. It’s a tough sport, isn’t it?”

Sam nodded, remembering her days of training, running hills, often running alone.

“When we run, the only people we have to rely on are ourselves,” Gary said. “When I ran on sunny days, I would often talk to my shadow. My shadow stayed in lockstep with me, never leaving my side. I always believed I’d have to do everything on my own. When I met your mother on a sunny day in college, we took a walk and talked.

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