The Power of Positive Confrontation by Barbara Pachter & Susan Magee

Author:Barbara Pachter & Susan Magee [Pachter, Barbara & Magee, Susan]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Psychology, Applied Psychology, Interpersonal Relations, Personality, Self-Help, Personal Growth, Happiness, Success, General
ISBN: 9780738217604
Google: 2er1AgAAQBAJ
Publisher: Perseus Books Group
Published: 2014-06-30T18:30:00+00:00

Say It Loud and Clear

There are two key areas to remember about using your voice in difficult conversations:

1. Volume. Are you speaking loudly enough to be heard? Many people aren’t, and this is true for both men and women, but especially women. The first thing I say in my women’s seminars is, SPEAK UP. I teach presentation skills, and when people finally raise their voices, they feel like they are shouting. I have to assure them that they are not shouting. We can finally hear them!

A quiet young woman was attending one of my four-day seminars—positive confrontation plus women’s issues. On the third day she shared a story. Before class that morning, she had stopped at her office, and her boss gave her an assignment to do on the spot. She had no trouble WAC’ing him: “I can’t do that; I’m in a seminar.” He responded by giving her additional work to do. So she said, “Don’t you remember? I’m in the seminar and can’t do the work.” He then remembered something else she should pick up on the way back from the assignment.

She was starting to worry that she would miss the seminar. Then she remembered what she had been learning, and it dawned on her that perhaps her boss was literally not hearing her. So she stood up and in an unusually loud voice for her she said, “I’m going to the seminar now.”

He said, “Okay, I forgot. I’ll get someone else.”

He had finally heard her!

2. Rate. If you’re nervous about having a confrontation, you may increase the rate at which you speak without realizing it. Talking too quickly will make it hard for someone to follow your WAC’em words. Don’t try to talk faster just to get more information across. If you don’t have time to say what you want to say, arrange to pick up on the conversation at another time.

ON-YOUR-OWN ASSIGNMENT

You need to understand your vocal image. Though you can hear your voice on a video, you can be influenced by the visual. In the last chapter, I encouraged you to use a voice mail system to get feedback on the impact of your voice. Listen to the message you are leaving before you send the message, and redo it if necessary. You can also use the recording feature on your phone to evaluate your voice. If you do these exercises regularly, you will gain better control over your volume and rate. I give this as a homework assignment in my seminars and get the most positive feedback on it. People really learn from this exercise. Try it.

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