The Pirates! in an Adventure with Scientists by Gideon Defoe
Author:Gideon Defoe [Defoe, Gideon]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: [Côte d’Azur]
Published: 2003-12-31T13:00:00+00:00
In very small print it was noted that Mister Bobo did not actually play chess to a particularly high standard.
“These are very good, Captain,” said the scarf-wearing pirate, already applying a cherry-coloured lipstick. The Pirate Captain waved away the praise, and mumbled something about how he didn’t think it was that good a picture, even though it was obvious how proud he was.
“Now, I hope I can trust you pirates with this. I’m afraid I’ve got a prior engagement, so I won’t be around to help out,” said the Pirate Captain, giving his sternest look to his men, which involved lowering his eyebrows and pursing his lips together.
“What’s that, Captain?” asked the accordion-playing pirate, having some difficulty with his bra strap.
“I received a letter this morning, inviting me to attend a Pirate Convention at Earls Court. I’m one of the guests of honour.”
The other pirates occasionally wondered how it was that these letters found their way to their itinerant captain, but somehow they always did.
“A Pirate Convention? You’re certain this isn’t another of those Royal Navy schemes to trap a whole bunch of pirates?” said the scarf-wearing pirate, his brow furrowed with concern.
“Remember that time they said there was going to be a pirate beauty contest on Mozambique, and we had to shoot our way out?”
“Remember it? Of course I remember it! I still say I was robbed,” pouted the Pirate Captain. His crew nodded – certainly none of them had ever seen another pirate as attractive as their chiselled Captain.
“But, anyhow, the letter came with our secret pirate symbol marked on the envelope. See?” The Pirate Captain pointed to the Jolly Roger18 stamped on the seal. “So it must be the real deal. I’m quite looking forward to it. With any luck I’ll be able to sign a few autographs for the kids, and pick up some pirate equipment at bargain prices.”
18: Though the name ‘Jolly Roger’ would lead you to expect a picture of a happy-looking man, it is actually a scary skull above two crossed bones.
“All due respects, Captain,” said the pirate in green, feasting on a bowl of cereal, “but have you really got time to be going off to a Pirate Convention? We’re sort of bang in the middle of an adventure here.”
“It’s a fair point,” replied the Pirate Captain. “But I have my reasons. For a start, what with Black Bellamy pulling a fast one on us, the boat’s finances aren’t looking too healthy, and this could be a chance to make a doubloon or two. Good deeds won’t keep us in ham, you know. Secondly, a few of my pirate contacts might come in useful in figuring out just what this Bishop is really up to. And thirdly, I’m the Pirate Captain and I can do whatever the hell I please!”
“Are you planning on wearing that hat to the convention?” asked the pirate in red. The Pirate Captain thought he could detect a certain amount of disapproval in his tone.
“Yes, I am. It happens to be my favourite hat.
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Dark Humor | Humorous |
Satire |
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