The New Psychology of Winning by Waitley Denis;

The New Psychology of Winning by Waitley Denis;

Author:Waitley, Denis;
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: G&D Media
Published: 2021-10-15T00:00:00+00:00


Developing Positive Self-Esteem

Let’s move to some action steps for developing positive self-esteem. Number one: dress and look your best at all times. I don’t necessarily mean stylish dress. You don’t have to wear designer clothing, and you don’t have to wear what everyone else wears. Just be clean. When I’m speaking on a cruise ship, I don’t wear a suit; nor do I wear shorts or a bathing suit. I dress in a business casual style so that I am perceived as being someone who is going to impart information.

When you go to an event, there is an immediate reaction in others. We still begin to gauge people by how they look coming in. When I go to an occasion, I have found that people who are slightly overdressed have more of a positive impact than people who are underdressed. When you’re a rock star, when you’re Jeff Bezos, when you’re somebody at the top, you can come wearing sandals, shorts, and a T-shirt: that’s the uniform of the person who’s arrived. When you’re like the rest of us and you’re still trying to fit into a team of people who have a certain code of behavior, that code becomes very important.

The second tip is, improve your body language. Body language is very important today, and it’s part of posturing ourselves for success. In fact, one of the most popular of all TED Talks was by Dr. Amy Cuddy of Harvard Business School, who has been talking about body language and posture as the most important factors in first impressions.

As we know, first impressions last forever. Today in the digital world, you make a first impression in less than two seconds. In fact, the first microsecond you walk in, people get an immediate impression of you. Your posture determines a lot. Are you standing upright? Do you sit with your shoulders back? Do you walk openly? Do you stride as if you know where you’re going? Do you sit with your legs crossed? Do you have your arms crossed? What is your posture, your body language saying to other people?

Cuddy’s studies have found that people are much more accepting of those whose body language shows that they’re open, engaging, warm, and ready for acceptance as opposed to people who are, shall we say, in front of their computers all day long. Have I been in front of a screen so long that my shoulders are hunched forward? I have to learn to pull my shoulders back.

I’ve noticed that when people are at an event and they go to the restroom, they kind of sneak out. They don’t want to be noticed going to the restroom during the middle of the presentation.

Somebody with healthy self-esteem might say, “You know, everyone needs to go to the restroom. I’m certainly not going to creep around so that I’m not noticed.” That’s why some people sit in back of the room: so they can escape rather than sitting in front, where they can get more interaction with the speaker.



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