The Island God by Sarah Painter

Author:Sarah Painter [Painter, Sarah]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Siskin Press Ltd

Chapter Eighteen

Fiona and Bee had left, but Esme’s mind was still whirling. If Tobias was a god, whatever that even meant, perhaps he couldn’t die? It was a comforting thought until her gaze fell upon the pile of books she had borrowed from the shop. Neolithic burial cairns, pagan mythology, death myths from around the world. So many words cataloguing ancient beliefs and a thousand deities. Gods large and small. They weren’t all here, now. Which meant they had either been fictitious or they had existed once and then disappeared. Died. She closed her eyes and in the darkness saw a small plant withering, leaves browning and curling and stems drooping until rot set in and the whole thing crumbled to dust.

There was one person Esme wanted to speak to, but unfortunately, he was bonding with his long-lost brother. She didn’t blame him, of course, and was glad that Lewis was alive and well. But the timing could have been better. Or maybe it would never be ideal. Would she ever feel good about being shoved aside?

She stopped, surprised at herself. Luke hadn’t shoved her aside. He was spending time with his twin, the brother he feared had died. A wave of shame washed over her and she felt a familiar urge to go for a walk, to make some food, to go to her studio and paint until the feeling passed. She took a deep breath and forced herself to look at the place inside herself that hurt, like probing a sore tooth with her tongue. Luke’s family is back. He won’t need me anymore.

And there it was. The orphaned child that lived inside Esme was curled up in the corner, head on her knees, trying not to listen to the happy sounds of a family that she would never be a part of. She had never been adopted, but she had seen families in her foster placements. Knew that they existed for other people. Just not for her. It’s not the same, she told that small child. Luke isn’t a foster family. They were a couple. He had chosen her.

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