The End of the World Playlist by O'Brien Dan

Author:O'Brien, Dan [O'Brien, Dan]
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Published: 2013-12-30T16:00:00+00:00

*

Just beyond the ten or so check-out counters stood carts upon carts of miscellaneous things piled up: camping gear, mini-generators, food, booze, and an entire bed set. Kenny stood in front of one as the zombie cashiers simply stared.

“I can’t fucking believe this,” spoke the clumsy giant.

“Neither can I.”

They were staring at this zombie because what had once been a woman was now an anomaly. “Her fucking breasts survived. Unbelievable,” Kenny said exasperatedly.

“Given that it is just silicone, dead tissue really wouldn’t cause a problem.”

The zombie cashier retained what could only be described as enormous Double-D-size breasts that were barely restrained by the remnants of a Wal-Mart uniform. “How do you think they feel?” asked the bumbling behemoth.

“Like fake tits?”

Kenny gave him a look as if to say duh. “Obviously, you fucking idiot. I meant because she is dead, they might feel different.”

Will made a funny face, scrunching his nose and raising his eyebrow at the comment. “Why the fuck would they feel different?”

“I dunno, because she is a deadhead, maybe something changed.”

“So your collusion…”

“Contention.”

“What?”

“You said collusion, that’s the wrong fucking word, Webster.”

“What the fuck ever. So your contention is that since she is dead, the chemical composition of her tits changed?”

“When you say it like that, it does sound kind of stupid.”

“That’s because it is stupid.”

Kenny shook his head. “You know, you’re a fucking dick, man. It is a wonder you survived the end of the world.”

“It’s a wonder your giant ass survived the end of the world without McDonald’s.”

“You calling me fat?”

“How about big, motherfucker. Gigantor. Stay Puft.”

Kenny reached forward and grabbed Will, throwing him over the cashier and into the next lane. “You scrawny little fucker, I’m gonna break your fucking head off and piss down your throat.”

Will bounced up. “Big talk from a big man. You got what it takes to back it up you silly, sloppy fuck?”

Brandon’s voice over the radio interrupted the lovers’ spat. “We got shots fired.”

Kenny stopped, looking at the shoulder-mounted radio.

“What’s the situation?”

“We got crawlers at Sports Authority. Load up and meet back there,” echoed Brandon’s voice.

“Dee and Dumb acknowledge.” Kenny looked at Will, pointing a finger. “This isn’t over. Grab the carts and let’s blow this fucking place.”

“Whatever you say, Kong. Lead the way.”

They grabbed the carts, linking them together and exiting through the automatic doors of Wal-Mart, which were propped open by two snarling, restrained zombies––complete with greeter’s vests.

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