THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY by Ambrose Bierce

Author:Ambrose Bierce [Bierce, Ambrose]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9788027223749
Publisher: Musaicum Press
Published: 2017-10-14T00:00:00+00:00

Han Soper

LIGHTHOUSE, n. A tall building on the seashore in which the government maintains a lamp and the friend of a politician.

LIMB, n. The branch of a tree or the leg of an American woman.

'Twas a pair of boots that the lady bought,

And the salesman laced them tight

To a very remarkable height—

Higher, indeed, than I think he ought—

Higher than can be right.

For the Bible declares—but never mind:

It is hardly fit

To censure freely and fault to find

With others for sins that I'm not inclined

Myself to commit.

Each has his weakness, and though my own

Is freedom from every sin,

It still were unfair to pitch in,

Discharging the first censorious stone.

Besides, the truth compels me to say,

The boots in question were made that way.

As he drew the lace she made a grimace,

And blushingly said to him:

"This boot, I'm sure, is too high to endure,

It hurts my—hurts my—limb."

The salesman smiled in a manner mild,

Like an artless, undesigning child;

Then, checking himself, to his face he gave

A look as sorrowful as the grave,

Though he didn't care two figs

For her paints and throes,

As he stroked her toes,

Remarking with speech and manner just

Befitting his calling: "Madam, I trust

That it doesn't hurt your twigs."

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