The Day We Met by Rowan Coleman

Author:Rowan Coleman
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Published: 2015-03-30T16:00:00+00:00

10

caitlin

We get back from shopping and I think Mum is happy. She is singing as she goes into the house, taking up to her room the bags full of clothes that were meant for me and trying them on. She’s talking about going out later with someone called Rosie, down the pub, to see who’s about, maybe get a snog. I thought I’d get used to the way she fades in and out of our lives, but I don’t. Each fade-in is a little shorter; each fade-out is a little longer. I stand at the bottom of the stairs for a moment, wondering what I should do to try to bring her back, but she is singing and she seems so happy.

Gran is in the living room with Esther, making her watch a program about elephants that is narrated by David Attenborough.

“Look, sweetheart, look, aren’t the elephants lovely,” I hear her say.

“I want Dora the Explorer or Octonauts or Peppa Pig,” Esther insists. Gran isn’t like Mum, though, who has always given Esther her way with everything, cheerfully stating that she has her in training for a career as a despotic dictator. Gran tries really hard to make things better: she likes to improve things. And now she’s trying to improve Esther by making her watch something educational, which is funny. I love Gran, and I love Esther, and I’ll love my baby, the same way Mum and Gran have loved us. Perhaps not exactly the same way: similar, but better.

I feel better, having spent a morning with Mum, and after what she said to me. Before she decided she wanted to go out on the pull with Rosie, it was all making sense. It sort of feels like she’s given me back my future.

I go and sit down on the sofa, and Esther brings me the remote control.

“I want Dora or Peppa Pig,” she whispers, as if Gran will not notice.

Gran despairs, and rolls her eyes, and I switch channels. I know all of Esther’s favorite channels by heart.

“Was it okay?” Gran asks me, and I nod, because it was okay.

“I’m taking you to the hospital tomorrow. The appointment’s at ten,” Gran informs me. “They’ll check you over, give you a scan.”

I nod, and shift in my seat. Esther has climbed onto my lap, and weighs heavily on my abdomen. I can feel the resistance there now, the pocket of life expanding into my body. I move Esther to one side and wrap my arms about myself, realizing it’s an unconscious gesture to protect that unknown universe that’s spiraling inside of me. Does that mean I’m becoming a mother already?

“I cut this out for you,” Gran says, and offers me a flimsy bit of newsprint. “It was in the Daily Mail about getting back into further education after having kids.”

“Thanks,” I say, taking it and folding it up before tucking it into my pocket.

For as long as I can remember, Gran has always sent us pieces of paper she has cut out from newspapers.

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