The Catastrophic History of You and Me by Jess Rothenberg

Author:Jess Rothenberg [Rothenberg, Jess]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: Romance
ISBN: 9780141966281
Publisher: Dial
Published: 2012-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

thou shalt not steal thy bff’s boyfriend

I jumped up on the hood of Emma’s car and let loose with one more power kick. Only this time, when my foot made contact, it cracked a hole right smack into the windshield. The girls’ mouths fell wide open as they watched big, chunky shards of glass shatter onto the asphalt.

They started screaming. Emma and Tess jumped into their car and Sadie made a dash for hers. “Call you later!” Emma yelled to Sadie as they all sped out of the parking lot.

“Well, shoot, there goes our ride,” said Patrick.

I wasn’t listening. “What day is it?”

He looked up at the sun. “Using what I learned in chapter thirteen of the D and G—‘Expert Survival Skills’—I’d say it is approximately April twenty-eighth.”

“What day of the week, I mean.”

“Wait a second.” I saw him reach for something.

“What?” I said. “What is it?”

His face erupted into a guilty smile as he held up Sadie’s phone.

Holy jackpot, Batman.

He pressed a button and the screen came to life. “Correction,” he announced a second later. “It is April twenty-ninth. Friday.”

Friday. I searched my memory. Jacob had track practice every day after school, but Fridays were almost always reserved for meets.

Patrick double-checked to make sure that nobody with a pulse was watching. Then he shoved the phone into his pocket, making it invisible to the living world. It was now officially ours. A Found Object.

“Hand it over.” I held out my hand.

“Wait a sec,” he said. “What are you up to, String Cheese?”

“Who, little old me? Why, sir, I don’t know what you mean.”

“Listen.” His voice grew serious. “I’ll go along with this for a little bit longer. But I don’t want you getting totally carried away. There are some rules you’ve gotta play by, Cheeto.”

“Oh yeah?” I challenged. “Like what?”

“Like forgetting these idiots so you can move on, and R to the I to the P, already. And another thing.” He looked me straight in the eye. “Soon we will have to go back to Slice. Soon you will have to leave them behind. You know that, right?”

I glared back, not saying a word. Patrick was a good guy, and I’d started to care for him. But there was no way he was ever going to understand me. How could he? He was just a dude from the ’80s who’d had some bad luck driving too fast on his motorcycle. What the hell could he know about love or loss or what it really felt like to have your heart torn apart?

A whole lotta nothing, that’s what.

I made my mind up right then that I wasn’t going back to Slice.

Not now, and not ever.

I did my best to hide the thought, just in case Patrick was lurking around inside my head. Did my best to at least sound like I was telling the truth.

“Yeah.” I nodded. “I know we have to go back.”

I guess Sadie wasn’t the only one who could tell a good lie. Because Patrick bought it.

He smiled.

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