The Cabal of Thotash by J. Zachary Pike

Author:J. Zachary Pike [Pike, J. Zachary]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: J. Zachary Pike
Published: 2014-05-02T00:00:00+00:00

“Set flame to the Dark Cauldron!” cried the Keeper of Secrets.

A spout of blue flames illuminated a mass of ritualists pressed into the cabal’s tiny chambers, all clad in dark robes. The light glimmered off a multitude of silver cauldrons on shining chains, a tribute to the Dark Cauldron that had grown fashionable with many of the younger cabalists over the past few months.

Fashion was the least of the changes that had arisen since the advent of the Lady of Shadows. The greatest difference was easy to spot: the Cabal had grown by more than a hundredfold, so they were already up to three dark rituals every Sunday. Hundreds of cabalists packed the small room, eager to buddy-up to a dark power that would destroy and remake the world for their happiness.

“Brothers and sisters,” the Keeper began.

“Excuse me, Keeper of Secrets,” said the Lady of Shadows. “If I may, there are a few announcements to make.”

The Keeper glared at the Lady. These interruptions were another of the vexing trends that had sprouted in recent months. “I don’t suppose I can stop you,” she spat.

“It’ll just take a minute,” the Lady said.

The Lady of Shadows began a litany of events planned for the next few weeks. A fundraiser was ongoing to support a local hedonists’ club that had fallen on hard times. Classes on the taxonomy of the Elder Beings and their inevitable triumph over the universe were being offered every other Saturday. There was to be a potluck, and not enough cabalists had offered to bring salad. Volunteers were needed to hand out nips at local meetings of recovering alcoholics.

The Lady got a little more excited as she came to the last announcement. “And finally, we’d like to say that we’ve finally raised enough money to begin the expansion and renovation.”

An excited murmur rose from among the cabalists. Many eyes turned to a framed architect’s rendering on the wall, depicting a new ritual center. It looked akin to a granite crypt, and it boasted a grand podium for the Cauldron, an extensive set of bleachers and pews, and a suitably evil motif of skulls, talons, and horns.

“In just a couple of months, we’ll be performing dark rites in our brand-new lair!” beamed the Lady of Shadows. “And it’s all possible because of you and your hard work.”

Self-satisfied applause and happy murmurs arose from the cabal as its members exchanged congratulations and heaped accolades upon each other.

“Silence!” roared the Keeper of Secrets when she could take no more.

A hush descended upon the room. Hundreds of dark hoods swiveled to look at the Cabal’s furious leader.

“Is this what we call service to the Dark Lord?” snarled the Keeper. “Is this how we’ll summon the ever-hungry maw to lick the marrow from the Earth’s bones? With potlucks? Sunday classes? Interior decorating?”

“Sa! Nia vuglan Thotash vlan zasti!” garbled the Mentioner of the Unmentionable.

“We should be robbing the poor! Trampling the downtrodden! Slaughtering those who can’t stand up for themselves!” said the Keeper. “Not sitting

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