The Bride of Casa Dracula by Marta Acosta

Author:Marta Acosta [Acosta, Marta]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Contemporary, Fiction, Romance, General, Humorous, Marriage, Paranormal, Humorous Fiction, Fantasy, Horror, Vampires, Occult & Supernatural, Hispanic American Women, Cultural Heritage
ISBN: 1416559639
Publisher: Pocket
Published: 2008-09-15T16:00:00+00:00

thirteen

the villainy of a fruitcake

W hen we got back home, Cornelia made appointments at the spa in town and dashed back out again. I spent the afternoon on my fauxoir, creating a fascinating meeting between Don Pedro and a wise witch woman in an Amazonian tribe. I put her in a parrot feather headdress, which added a nice visual, and she revealed her wisdom by repeating people’s words, causing them to reflect on what they had said, the way psychiatrists do.

When I finished the scene, I looked at the fruitcake recipes. Oswald’s grandmother had taught me a little about judging recipes, and my inexpert assessment was that these were stinkers. I called Edna and was happy when she answered her cell phone.

“Edna, how are you?”

“Good afternoon, Young Lady. What have you done now?”

“I deeply resent your implication that I only call you when I’m in trouble.”

“Hmph.”

“Where has Thomas taken you?”

Edna told me that while Thomas was shooting scenes in Montreal, she was visiting museums and enjoying all the amenities of their luxury hotel.

“Thank you for the highly edited, G-rated version of your stay with your sexy and addled young paramour,” I said. “You’ll never guess who has darkened our doorway. Cornelia Ducharme.” I gave her a brief rundown of recent activities. “Now I have to make some horrible fruitcake. All the recipes look vile. Some call for suet. Isn’t that something lardy that you put in bird feeders? Where is your recipe?”

“I don’t recall,” she said.

“But you keep all your recipes.”

“I keep all the ones that work, Young Lady,” she said rather quietly. “My cake was not a harbinger of a happy marriage.”

Edna seldom spoke of her marriage. “How thoughtless of me to ask, Edna. I’ll make do with one of these,” I said. “You know, it’s so quiet here without you that I find myself enjoying Cornelia’s company. But it’s like being friends with a rattler.”

“Cornelia isn’t terrible, Milagro. She developed a shell after her parents died, and Ian has always indulged her.”

“He suggested she take this job, which is funny considering that he never seems to work.”

“It is not becoming for a young lady to gossip.”

“Please tell that to the other family members, who all seem to know everything about me.”

“They are not young ladies and cannot be held to the same standards that you so woefully fail to meet.”

“I miss you. When are you coming back?”

“In another week or so, I think. Thomas wants to talk to you.”

I regressed momentarily and became excited that a Hollywood actor wanted to talk to me.

He came on the line and said, “Milagro?”

“Hi, Thomas. I hope you’re treating Edna well.”

“I treat her like the goddess she is. I need you to go to her cottage, get my black suit, and have it dry cleaned and sent to me.”

“You’re kidding, right?”

“That’s the kind of attitude that makes Edna appreciate efficient room service. Overnight it.”

Edna got back on the line and said cheerfully, “We’re going out now, but I’m sure you’ll do something distinctive with the cake.

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