The Book of Awesome: Snow Days, Bakery Air, Finding Money in Your Pocket, and Other Simple, Brilliant Things by Neil Pasricha

Author:Neil Pasricha
Language: eng
Format: mobi, pdf
Tags: Humor, Form, General, Literary Criticism, Self-Help, Conduct of life, Essays, Personal Growth, Happiness
ISBN: 9780399156519
Publisher: Penguin
Published: 2010-04-15T04:00:00+00:00

Bowling celebrations

Because let’s be honest: Most people are pretty stinking awful at rolling a ball the size and weight of a human head perfectly straight down a sixty-foot lane. There are gutters on both sides, you’re slipping in torn-up shoes that have been through a war and a washing machine, and every time you go up for a toss you’re up onstage with critical eyes piercing holes in your back, watching your every move.

It’s pressure, all right.

But that’s what makes it so great when you finally pick up a perfect spare or nail a ten-pin knockdown in the final frame. That’s when it’s time for a bowling celebration—ideally featuring several of the following:

1. The Stage Dance. Hey, you’re up onstage, so why not throw out a couple of moves? Perhaps the famous Hulk Hogan ear cup, the invisible hula hoop, or the fist pump? If all else fails, you can moonwalk back down to your seat. The shoes should help.

2. The Celebrity. The paparazzi loves you and you love them back, only without the paparazzi. Smile, wink, and pose for the invisible cameras on your way back to the orange plastic seats.

3. The All-Business Around-the-World High Five. This can happen when you have around ten hands to slap. There are just too many hands, so your eyes narrow, your eyebrows crunch, and your tongue fixes itself on your top lip as you focus on nailing every single high five offered to you. You don’t miss a slap. Yes, you’re all business around the world.

4. The Overly Exaggerated Jump. Always a fan favorite. Just watch out for that greasy floor and those skiddy shoes.

5. The Friendly Stranger. This is where a casual stranger who has been keeping a passive eye on your game suddenly leaves his lane and jumps into your bowling celebration. The Friendly Stranger can be awkward, but it gives your sweet roll some extra lane cred.

Now, whatever your style, it’s important to remember that once you hit down some pins, it’s all about the bowling celebration. You can do no wrong at this point, so just relax and do a little dance.

Make a little love.

And get down tonight.

AWESOME!

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