The Billionaire's Fantasy - Part 4 by Kate Hewitt

Author:Kate Hewitt
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781460390047
Publisher: Harlequin
Published: 2015-11-15T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter Fourteen

IT HAD SEEMED like a good idea on the way over. By the time she got to the Bronx, though, Louise was feeling distinctly nervous. Kind of terrified, actually, but also surprisingly excited. Even a little turned on.

Jaiven’s lights were on, though it was after eleven, and with a deep breath she paid the cabbie, headed up the stairs to Jaiven’s front door and knocked.

“Louise?” He opened the door, rumple-haired and slack-jawed. Adorable and sexy all at the same time.

“Hey. Sorry to come over so late.”

“I’m thrilled.” He gave her a crooked smile even though she could see how the expression in his eyes was veiled. With one hand he drew her inside. “What’s up?”

“I have this idea, and I need you to go with it.” She gave him an overbright smile and Jaiven’s forehead furrowed.

“Okay,” he answered. “Why don’t you come upstairs?”

He led her into the living room, asked if she wanted a drink, but Louise was too keyed up for the niceties. “Look, Jaiven, I appreciate you wanting to go slowly with me. I really, really do. But I’m also kind of tired of slow. I know myself, and I know I need to be pushed into some things. Otherwise I’d just stay safe, hiding in my bedroom, watching TV and marking essays.”

His frown deepened but he nodded. “Okay.”

“The thing is, I think you might need the same thing. A little push.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean I’ve been obsessing about our—our relationship, if that’s what we’re in.”

“Of course we’re in a relationship.”

“Oh. Okay.” Phew. “But we’re not sleeping together. I mean, you know, sex.”

“I know what you mean, Louise.” He folded his arms. “And I told you before, we don’t need to rush it. I want you to feel safe with me.”

She swallowed, her heart starting to pound. “I do feel safe with you, Jaiven.”

His face settled into implacable lines. “Are you sure about that?”

So she’d been right. Vindication was sweet but also scary. “Are you?” she countered quietly. “Because it occurred to me a little while ago, that this—this stasis might be as much about you as about me. That we’re both afraid.”

“Afraid?” He shook his head but he looked wary. “I’m not the one who’s afraid.”

“Are you sure about that?” Louise asked softly. She took a deep breath and made herself continue. “I’ll admit it, Jaiven. I’m afraid. I’m afraid of having real sex with you, not just the fantasy kind where I can hide behind the fun. I’m afraid of feeling scared, which doesn’t make sense, maybe, but still is. I’m afraid when you’re touching me, when you’re inside me, I’ll remember things I don’t want to remember. Not just about you, but about my ex-husband. About the way he made me feel.”

Jaiven flinched and averted his face. “I don’t need to hear this, Louise.”

“I think you do. This is the real me, Jaiven, and most of all I’m afraid you’ll reject me because I’m too much work. Too messed up.”

His face contorted and he took a step toward her.

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