The Best Joke Book (Period): Hundreds of the Funniest, Silliest, Most Ridiculous Jokes Ever by William Donohue

Author:William Donohue [Donohue, William]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: F+W Media
Published: 2014-10-02T18:30:00+00:00

If “pros” are opposite of “cons,” does that mean “congress” is the opposite of “progress”?

President George Bush walks into the Oval Office and sees Vice President Dan Quayle celebrating wildly.

“What’s going on, Mr. Quayle?” the president inquires.

“I just done finished a jigsaw puzzle in record time!” the vice president beams.

“How long did it take you?” President Bush asks.

“I did it in just over a month,” Quayle explains, “but the box said it would take 3–5 years!”

“After you’ve heard two eyewitness accounts of an automobile accident, you begin to worry about history.”—TIM ALLEN

A history teacher is discussing George Washington with his class. “George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree,” the teacher explains, “but also admitted to doing it. Does anyone know why his father didn’t punish him?”

A girl in the front of the class answers, “Maybe because George still had the axe in his hand?”

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