The Beard by Andersen Prunty

Author:Andersen Prunty [Prunty, Andersen]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Tags: Humorous, Fantasy, Bizarro
ISBN: 9780615326337
Publisher: Atlatl Press
Published: 2009-10-27T05:00:00+00:00

Nineteen

The bride drew the carriage to a stop on a treelined road.

“Okay,” she said. “Let’s get to it.” She stripped her veil off and threw it onto the road and reached behind her wedding dress, trying to undo it. “Do you mind helping?” she asked.

“With what?” I said. I was a little dazed. My mind was still trying to catch up with everything that was happening.

“Taking this damn dress off. We’re going to have sex.”

“I don’t think I’m up for it,” I said.

“You came all the way out here with me and now you’re not up for it?”

“Pretty much. What about your husband? Didn’t you just get married?”

“Well, sure, but... hey, you’re not at all familiar with the way things work in our town, are you?”

“I think I have a pretty good idea.”

“You just don’t understand. The pressure of living there. The pressure of always being expected to do what you’re not expected to do. That’s why my husband ran off with the carriage driver. He’s not even gay. That’s why the lights are on all night and everyone sleeps during the day.”

“But you should do what you want to do. If you want to be with your husband then you should go back.”

“And what about you?”

“I’ll be okay,” I said.

“Maybe you’re right,” she said.

“Anyway,” I said. “I think I’ll just be going. Okay?”

“Okay,” she said. “I guess it’s for the best but everyone back in town is going to be very disappointed.”

“Tell them it was my fault.”

“The stranger. They’ll have to believe that.”

I hopped down off the carriage. She whipped the horses into action, turning the carriage around, and headed back for town.

I walked along the narrow dirt road, wondering where I would come to next, expecting it to be just as strange as the places I had been. I wondered where I was. Wrench still had the map and I didn’t think asking anyone for directions would do any good. Currently, there wasn’t even anyone to ask. Walking along the road I began humming discordant tunes that weren’t really tunes at all. It was only a matter of time before I became too tired to walk. Then I would need a nap but I didn’t see anywhere suitable for a nap. I guess I could have ventured out into the woods but I didn’t see why I’d want to do that. Taking a nap on a soft bed of chemically purified lawn was one thing. To take a nap on a bunch of moldy leaves surrounded by snakes and bugs and countless other evils was something different altogether. I would just have to walk and wait. Wait to find Wrench and the imposter or wait to come upon the next town or the next city.

“Yeee-ha!” I heard from behind me. A beer can hit me on the head and I looked up to see the black van speeding away. Perhaps Wrench noticed me. The brake lights lit up and the van backed up. I went to hop in the passenger seat but was met with the dour face of my imposter.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.