The Anger Busting Workbook by Baker James A.;

Author:Baker, James A.;
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Bayou Publishing

Dear God,

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Signed Date

CHART Your Progress

You should still be charting your progress at abstaining from banned behaviors, as well as working with your note cards from Chapter Two. We don’t want to load you down with too much more paperwork, but there is one important area that would really be good for you to track.

The following chart contains a list of key phrases for effective shallow doghouse communication. Make enough copies of this weekly chart to last for the rest of your 90-day training period. Make a concentrated effort to use these phrases as often as you can, whenever it is appropriate. At the end of each day, put a check mark beside every one that you were able to use that day. At the end of each week, tally up the number of times you used each phrase.

Do you find any that are “underworked?” Which ones do you use most often? Are you satisfied with the results you are getting? Is there anything you could do to use these phrases – along with similar ones – more effectively?

Week of _______to_________

“SHALLOW DOGHOUSE” COMMUNICATION CHART”

MAKE ADDITIONAL COPIES

Chart Your Progress in Shallow Doghouse Communication

PHRASE

“You are right.”

“I really am sorry.”

“It was all my fault.”

“Please forgive me.”

“What can I do to make it up to you?”

“I see you are still upset with me. I would really like to hear about it.”

“When you are ready to talk, I promise just to listen.”

“Let me see if I understood what you said. Did I get what you said?”

“Thank you for sharing with me. I really appreciate it.”

“In the future it would please me if you would…”

“Honey, thank you so much for …”

“I love you; you are the most beautiful woman in the world.”

SLIPS, WINS AND MIRACLES

For an anger addict, getting anger under control sometimes feels like trying to nail Jell-o™ to the wall. It’s just not easy to do. Every minute is full of challenges and you never know where the next one is coming from. For example, review the round-by-round description below of the way one addict started a typical day. Pay attention to the way he talked himself through some ticklish situations.

ROUND #1 (THIS WAS EASY… JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION.)

God gave me a pop test coming out of a sleep; not a good time for people with anger problems.

The other morning my cell phone, which I keep by my bed, rang at 7:00 AM about an hour before I usually get up. I work until 9:00 in the evening.

I answered and this guy asks, “Is this the plumbing supply place?”

His words are slurred as if he had been coming off an all night drunk.

I say, “No, it’s not the plumbing supply place,” and the guy hangs up.

ROUND #2 (NOT A PROBLEM… I CAN HANDLE THIS.)

In 20 seconds the phone rings again and it’s the same guy asking, “Is this the plumbing supply place?”

Again I explain that he has the wrong number and again he hangs up. I congratulate myself on a job well done. I even think that it is funny of all the numbers in my area code, he calls the anger therapist twice.

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