The Accidental Book Club by Jennifer Scott

Author:Jennifer Scott [Scott, Jennifer]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: Penguin Group US
Published: 2014-05-06T00:00:00+00:00

1. Sleep.

2. Walk around looking like a zombie, which was scary as hell. If Bailey had told anyone who knew Laura Butler that the woman hadn’t showered in, like, two weeks, they probably would have joined a church right away and waited for the Apocalypse to get here. And, not for nothing, but the perfect-skinned, perfect-smiled, perfectly perfect Laura Butler looked pretty not perfect at the moment. She might have even made Bailey look good, and Bailey had to force herself to keep from sniping, I don’t know where I got these genes! I swear to God I have more than once wondered if they switched me with some other baby! But she’d have to be speaking with her mom to say that.

3. Yell at people.

Bill collectors: “I don’t care what your policy is! Where’s the heart? Where’s the caring for a sick single mother, huh? I’ve been in the hospital for a month, and you’re talking to me about your goddamn policy? How do you sleep at night? I know it’s not your personal policy, but I would never be able to work for a company that treated people the way your company treats people, and you know why? I have a conscience!”

Various managers and employees at Bradley Electronics: “I’m on a leave of absence, Syl; I’m not dead. I know you have to take care of things while I’m away, but don’t treat me like a corpse. Well, Henry can get another job if he doesn’t like it. I wonder how Carolyn and the kids will like it when they find out he pissed away his career because he was too impatient to wait for his boss to come back. How about you bring that up as new business at the next board meeting, Syl, and see how it goes? Well, then stop treating me like I’m some sort of plague on the company and start giving me the respect I’ve earned. I don’t care what I did a month ago—it’s not about what I did in one day, but what I’ve done over the course of sixteen years!”

And, especially, her soon-to-be-ex-husband, the Ghost Dad: “No, I will not calm down! I don’t have to calm down! You lost the right to tell me to calm down the minute you walked out of that house. No, I won’t lower my voice. I don’t care if someone else hears me. What do I have to be ashamed of, Curt? Not nearly as much as you do!”

And then repeat it all on a loop. Back to the bill collectors, back to the office, back to Ghost Dad. Over and over and over again until Bailey got tired of eavesdropping, until her brain hurt trying to keep up with the long list of People Who’ve Wronged Laura Butler. God, the woman was even perfect at being a victim. It was sickening.

And you know who she wasn’t yelling at?

Bailey. Of course. Because she’d have to actually know Bailey existed to yell at her.

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