Synchronicity by S.L. Astor

Author:S.L. Astor [Astor, S.L.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2023-10-22T16:00:00+00:00

24

CHELSEA

“How’d their day go?”

“All good,” he assures me.

It’s always smooth sailing reports from Paul. I try not to get annoyed that he doesn’t seem to experience the same hurdles I do. We agreed to share everything about the kids. I want to ask him about it, but we also agreed to trust one another in raising our kids together.

“Hey, I’ve been meaning to check with you—do you want the key to the house back?”

My fingers tap against the frame, holding the door open. “I think it’s wise for you to have one in case of an emergency.”

“I don’t want you to feel like this place isn’t fully yours.”

“I don’t feel that way. I may not have financially contributed, but I made it a home.”

“But it’s a lot to keep up with. Have you considered downsizing? Apartment living has its perks. No lawn to take care of.”

“I wouldn’t call the back patio a lawn.” I laugh.

“There’s plants.” He’s not being sarcastic.

“We’ll see you later this week. Thanks for everything, Paul.”

“You never need to thank me. They’re mine, too.” Paul heads down the front steps, stops, and cocks his head over his shoulder. “Chelsea, don’t take this the wrong way, but I haven’t seen your natural hair since we had Paige. Looks good.”

I thank Paul for the compliment and close the door.

The unmistakable plink of plastic pieces making contact with the living room floor reaches down the hall, letting me know Paige and Jonah are setting up a game of checkers.

My profile catches in the hall mirror—frazzled blond strands falling to my shoulders.

Paul’s right. I was different when we met. He was too.

His now salt-and-pepper stubble and hair used to be jet black. His face has always been consistent and steady, reflecting his personality—focused, serious, provider, punctual.

When I met him, his twenty-eight was somehow grown-up to me. He was a problem-solver, and I was like a complicated math equation without a clear solution. He did solve other people’s financial problems—just not our marriage problems. I suppose those weren’t his to solve anyway. Marriage is a team sport, and neither of us had what it took to play anymore. We tried, though, for Jonah and Paige mostly, believing we might find a way to connect outside of parenting.

We decided to take a time-out, give each other space, maybe too much, and when we came together to try again, I knew we were better apart. Once I tasted that kind of peace, I had to fiercely protect it.

I’m grateful I get to raise my kids with Paul. And that he eventually forgave me for asking for a divorce. When I see him now, my chest aches with longing. Not for Paul but for the family I had. I crave and long to comfort the girl I was back then. All the insecurity I carried around that detrimentally informed my decisions—rushing forward with my life as fast as I could without awareness of the consequences.

In many ways, Paul began as a bandage, covering childhood scratches and scrapes, and of course from everything that happened with Seth that summer.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.