Sushi for Beginners by Marian Keyes

Author:Marian Keyes
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub, azw3
ISBN: 9780141909837
Publisher: Penguin Adult
Published: 2008-10-23T10:00:00+00:00

I will like Marcus Valentine and he will like me, I will like Marcus Valentine and he will like me… As she affirmationed her way along Grafton Street in her mince-inducing sandals, her Louise L. Hay-type chant was interrupted by a wolf-whistle. Marcus Valentine already?. God, that Louise L. Hay was good gear!

But it wasn’t Marcus Valentine. On the other side of the road, minus his orange blanket, was Boo. He was with two other men whose unshaven faces and funny clothes – the type that you couldn’t purchase were you to try – identified them as men without homes also. They were eating sandwiches.

Some impulse of politeness forced her to cross over.

‘So Ashling,’ Boo flashed his gappy grin, ‘you didn’t go away for the bank holiday?’

Ashling shook her head.

‘No, neither did I,’ Boo said with dignity. Then he smote his forehead at his rudeness and swung his arm to encompass the two men who were with him. One was young, straggly haired and skeletal, the waistband of his sweatpants barely clinging to his starved hips. The other was older and had his face buried in a huge beard and insane hair, as if wild cats had been Sellotaped all around the border of his face. He wore once-white plimsolls and a dinner suit that had manifestly been tailored for a much shorter man.

Boo, by comparison, looked almost normal.

‘Sorry! Ashling, this is Johnjohn,’ he indicated the younger of the two men. ‘And this is Hairy Dave. Lads, this is Ashling, my sometimes neighbour and all-round decent human being.’

Feeling slightly embarrassed, Ashling shook hands with both of them. What if Clodagh saw her now – she’d have a fit! Chewbacca in particular looked filthy and when his crusty hand clasped Ashling’s she fought back the urge to shudder.

A passer-by nearly twisted his head off as he took a good look at the unlikely quartet, Ashling so fresh and fragrant, the other three anything but.

‘You look deadly,’ Boo remarked, with naked admiration. ‘You must be meeting a man.’

‘I am,’ she said. Then, provoked by sudden fondness for Boo, she admitted, ‘You’ll never guess who it is.’

‘Who?’ All three of them gasped and leant in closer. Ashling had to hold her breath.

‘Marcus Valentine,’ she said, tying it in with an exhalation.

Boo erupted into merry-eyed laughter.

‘Is he the comedian?’ Hairy Dave asked in a slow, thick growl. Ashling nodded.

‘The one who does the stuff about owls?’ JohnJohn got all excited.

God Almighty! Had Ted’s fame spread so far that even marginalized citizens knew about him? Wait until she told him!

‘That’s Owl Ted Mullins you’re thinking of,’ Boo explained to JohnJohn. ‘Marcus Valentine does the stuff about butter and snowflakes.’

‘Don’t know him.’ JohnJohn was disappointed.

‘He’s cool. Ashling, this is deadly news! Well, I hope you enjoy yourself.’

‘Thanks. I’ll leave you to have your dinner in peace.’ Ashling indicated the sandwiches they’d stopped eating when she showed up.

‘Marks & Spencer,’ Boo said. ‘They give us whatever they haven’t sold. I know their clothes are gone a bit boring, but the sangers are delicious!’

Suddenly the three men stiffened as if sensing danger.

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