State of the Union: A Marriage in Ten Parts by Hornby Nick

Author:Hornby, Nick [Hornby, Nick]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Contemporary, Romance, Humour, Adult
ISBN: 9780593087343
Amazon: 0593087348
Goodreads: 45152561
Publisher: Riverhead Books
Published: 2019-03-07T08:00:00+00:00

week six

NIGEL AND NAOMI

Louise gets to the pub first. She buys the drinks and heads to their normal table in the pub. Tom walks through the door. He’s wearing a sport jacket and a shirt. He has shaved and had a haircut. Before he notices Louise, he pats his hair nervously.

They both sit down, and he gives her a smile.

“Hi,” he says.

Louise makes a little face, as if a smile and a “Hi” are weird. And she’s right—they are, in the context of the normal dynamic between them.

“Hello,” she says.

“How’s your day been?”

“Oh, you know.”

Tom leans in and makes eye contact.

“No. Tell me.”

Louise is perturbed.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Tom says. “I was just waiting for an answer to my question.”

“There’s nothing weird about me?”

“No. You look nice.”

“Oh, I see. Please stop now.”

“Stop saying you look nice?”

“All of it. The looking at me. The smiling. The . . . getup.”

“It’s not a ‘getup.’ I’m not wearing fancy dress.”

“The effect is somewhat similar,” she says.

“I’m trying.”

“I can see that. Try in a different way.”

“Give me some tips.”

“For example, the text you sent me this morning . . .”

“Ah,” says Tom. “More things like that?”

“No. Nothing like that.”

“What was wrong with it?”

“It was creepy.”

“‘Looking forward to seeing you later’? That one? That’s creepy?”

“Yes.”

“Jesus.”

“It sounds like you’re trying.”

“I am trying.”

“Well . . . Don’t.”

“I’d try if you were someone new.”

“Of course. But I’m not. Were you actually looking forward to seeing me?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t believe you,” she says.

“Weren’t you looking forward to seeing me, then?”

“I saw you yesterday.”

“But that was just parenting. We haven’t had a chance to chat.”

“A catch-up?” Louise says sarcastically.

“If you want.”

“It’s not really starting again, though, is it? You catch up with people you’ve known for a long time. If we stay living apart, then that’s what we’ll be doing in the future. ‘How have you been?’ ‘The kids are doing well, aren’t they?’ ‘Have you got any good graduation photos?’ ‘Nice to meet you, Naomi.’”

“Who’s Naomi?”

“Or Jenny, or Jackie. Or whatever. Your new partner.”

“And that doesn’t make you feel a little bit sick?”

“No, not really. I mean, if we do split, I’d like us all to get on.”

“‘Us all’ includes your new partner, I presume. Russell or Nigel or Colin.”

“Oh, thanks a bunch.”

“They were just examples of names.”

“Really crap names.”

“They might be nice people. You wouldn’t turn your nose up at Russell Crowe. Or Colin Firth. Or Nigel . . . Kennedy.”

“Nigel Kennedy?”

“Nigel . . . de Jong, then.”

“Who’s he?”

“The Dutch player who should have been sent off in the World Cup Final. Studded a Spanish player in the chest. Right up here.”

He points to his own chest.

“Terrible challenge, it was.”

“You’re not selling him to me,” says Louise.

“I’m sure he’s not like that at home.”

“Anyway, you weren’t thinking about those people. You were thinking about home counties bank managers.”

“Nothing wrong with home counties bank managers. We could do with one in the family. And as my solvency is a problem, I don’t think you should be too sniffy.”

“Can we not talk about my next partner?”

“Let’s talk about mine, then.

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