Star Wars X-Wing #2: Wedge's Gamble by Michael A. Stackpole

Author:Michael A. Stackpole [Stackpole, Michael A.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780553568028
Barnesnoble:
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Published: 1996-05-28T00:00:00+00:00

And this is circumstantial, too. Corran heard Mirax on Noquivzor telling him that Erisi would not be good for him and he'd seen how truly different they were as they came into Coruscant. He'd developed doubts about any relationship with her then, and this situation now did not invalidate those doubts. She's attractive and I'm attracted, but something is not right here.

Something inside him felt very wrong. His father had told him countless times to trust his feelings and to play his hunches. Corran had taken his father's advice and had learned to live by what he felt, or to later regret going against those feelings. He had gone against his gut feelings before, and with much less in the way of inducement to do so, but those situations had never turned out right in the end.

Corran let himself fall forward, but he kept his elbows locked and held his chest and head above Erisi. "I can't."

Erisi flashed him a shadowed smile. "I think you're doing fine."

"Seriously, I can't." He bent his right arm and flopped down on his flank beside her. "It isn't going to work."

Rolling up on her side, she reached over and stroked his cheek. "What's wrong? What did I do wrong?"

"It's not you." He took her hand and kissed her palm. "It's not that I'd like nothing better than to be here with you, but ..."

"This is just now, Corran. I need this, you need this. It won't change who we are. No obligations. No recriminations. No regrets."

Her words poured soothingly into his ears. He had no doubt she meant them and that they would be true for her. "I hear you, Erisi, and I believe you, but I don't know that I'd be able to leave it in the past. It might not change who we are or what we mean to each other, but I'd bet against it given my past history. As I said, it's not you, it's me."

He rolled onto his back, then sat up. "You have to figure I'm an idiot.

We've gotten very close a number of times and I keep pulling back."

He felt her hand on his back as she sat up beside him. "Actually, while it is frustrating, I do find this hesitation one of your more endearing qualities."

"Decisiveness in men is so off-putting, after all."

Erisi laughed easily. "Your sense of humor is attractive as well, except when you use it as a shield."

"Sorry."

She kissed his shoulder. "You see, Corran, few are the men who allow their emotions to have a part in their decision-making process. Most are expediently logical-emotions motivate them, but do not guide them. With most men there would be no hesitation-if emotions were going to come into play, it would be afterward. Your ability to factor emotions into your choices ahead of time makes you rather unique and worth pursuing."

"Or a big waste of time."

"Not so far."

"I'm just warming up. You'll see. Give me time."

Erisi sighed beside him. "Perhaps that is the best idea, right now, no matter what we think we want.

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