Space Team_Planet of the Japes by Barry J. Hutchison
Author:Barry J. Hutchison [Hutchison, Barry J.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Zertex Books
Published: 2017-09-14T04:00:00+00:00
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Calâs foot found something wet and rubbery. At first, he was afraid heâd landed on Splurt, but the wet, rubbery thing heâd landed in was red. Purple in places, too, but mostly red.
Wet, rubbery, red, purple, and smelly. Very smelly.
It had been less smelly before Calâs foot had burst it open, spilling a sulfurous yellow-green fluid out onto the ruined and overgrown paving slabs. The odor forced its way up Calâs nostrils, violating his airways and making his overactive gag reflex kick in with a vengeance.
He stumbled away, tripping over a ribcage with too many ribs. Off-balance, he threw out a foot to steady himself. Rather than reach solid ground, though, his foot found the top of a skull, which skittered sideways beneath his weight, sending him stumbling in the opposite direction.
He realized, to his dismay, that he was now falling, face-first, towards the wet, rubbery, red, purple, yellow-green smelly stuff.
He was already gagging, too, which meant his mouth would likely be open when he landed.
Marvelous.
Just fonking marvelous.
Cal jerked to a stop three inches from the slimy puddle of innards and body fluids. âTotally should have just let you drop,â Mech said, but then Cal, to his relief, was hoisted back upright.
He exhaled sharply through his nose, not wanting to breathe in any more of that smell than he had to. He tapped a finger to his forehead in salute. âThanks.â
âYeah, well, I didnât want you walking around covered in that stuff, stinking the whole damn place up.â
Cal turned and quickly found Splurt. He was holding part of what could have been a foot, studying it like it was a rare archaeological find.
âYou put that down, mister,â Cal ordered. âYou donât know where thatâs been.â
Splurt met Calâs gaze, looked at the foot, then dropped it. It landed with a sploosh in a soup of brain matter and eyes.
âAnd donât think Iâve forgotten about you running off,â Cal said. âWeâll talk about that later.â
Splurtâs shoulders slumped. He kicked a pebble. Or possibly a kidney stone, Cal was too far away to tell.
âWhat is this thing?â Loren asked, nudging a pelvis with the toe of her boot.
âA dead body,â said Cal. âA really dead body.â
Loren tutted. âYes, I know. I meant⦠What was it?â
Cal shrugged. âFunnily enough, I didnât think to ask it for its ID. One of those clown-things, I guess.â
âDonât they turn, like, all yellow and mushy?â said Miz.
âYeah. Actually⦠maybe,â Cal said. âLetâs ask Dave.â
âYeah! Letâs ask Dave!â said Mech, with a frankly terrifying amount of enthusiasm. âDave will know! Dave knows everything!â
âUh, OK,â said Cal. He turned to the hole in the wall. âDave, itâs clear, you can come through.â
Mech leaned down. âYou want to know something about Dave? Cause I worked it out, see?â He tapped himself on the side of the head. âI figured out that Dave ainât whatââ
Daveâs clumsy clambering over the debris stopped Mech saying any more.
âHey, Loren, give him a hand, will you?â Cal asked. Loren took Dave by the arm and helped guide him over the rubble, then steered him past the pile of mushy remains.
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Dark Humor | Humorous |
Satire |
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