Somewhere Above It All by Holli Fawcett Clayton

Author:Holli Fawcett Clayton [Clayton, Holli Fawcett]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Greenleaf Book Group Press

35

HEALING IS SLOW. Not a trickle, but a tiny, grueling drip-drop each day. It will come, they say. Will it? I don’t know.

Drip-drop. Another morning in Clear Springs arrives, and I’m sure I can’t face it. I pull the covers over my head again, groggy with grief. I want to get up and go for a run, but I’m far too tired. There is not one ounce of me that wants to escape from the refuge of these covers, not one part of my soul that’s ready to face what’s ahead.

My husband is dead.

I hear my phone ping, and I conjure the energy to reach for it. The words on the screen are blurry, distorted by the morning fog that still resides inside my head. When the message finally comes into focus, I see that it is a text from Molly Hale—my lifelong best friend who used to be like a sister. Since Brody’s addiction, however, I’ve pushed her away.

How are you, Marren? I hope you are okay. The funeral was beautiful. I miss you. If you ever want to talk, I’m here.

Drip, drop, drip. My insides tingle with nostalgia—Molly and I haven’t really talked in years now. I miss our talks. The kind where we’d sit on Molly’s parents’ porch, wine coolers in hand, just a couple of teenage girls dreaming about their futures.

We’d talk for hours about where our lives were headed. Whether Brody would ask me to marry him. What our kids would look like. Whether Molly would end up with Brett, her on-again, off-again boyfriend. How much I missed my mom and dad. How much she did too. I could really use one of those talks right now.

I miss having a best friend, someone who knows almost everything about me and still loves me anyway. Someone who’s been there for me through thick and thin. Someone who knows my deepest, darkest secrets. Someone like Molly. She knows me. Except she doesn’t. She doesn’t know about the pills. And I’m not sure I can tell her.

Molly and I met when we were six years old, fellow first-grade brunettes, both of us obsessed with Mariah Carey. Our moms became fast friends and would often sit around with their afternoon wine, watching Molly and me dress up and lip sync the words to “Fantasy” and “Hero.” Molly and I used to share everything, and I do mean everything. Bows. Outfits. CDs. Crushes on boys. Hours of tears after the accident. A six pack of beer on our high school graduation night.

I saw Molly from a distance at Brody’s funeral. Though we never spoke directly, I did notice that her once-black hair was now a lighter chestnut brown. She stood across the room from me—this sweet girl who’d been my best friend for almost my entire life. She was the first one I’d told when Brody asked me out. The first to know about our very first kiss and the first time Brody made love to me at his parents’ house when they were away.

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