So, What's Your Proposal?: Shifting High-Conflict People From Blaming to Problem-Solving in 30 Seconds! by Bill Eddy

So, What's Your Proposal?: Shifting High-Conflict People From Blaming to Problem-Solving in 30 Seconds! by Bill Eddy

Author:Bill Eddy
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Tags: Interpersonal Relations, Management, Conflict Resolution & Mediation, Business & Economics, Psychology
ISBN: 9781936268627
Publisher: High Conflict Institute Press
Published: 2014-10-14T21:00:00+00:00


At first, teachers and administrators in higher education tried to get parents to leave their young adult children alone to deal with their own successes and failures. However, nowadays, teachers and administrators realize that parents are going to be involved whether they like it or not, so the only question is how to make it a positive involvement. One approach is to involve them in meetings about the student’s academics or behavior.

The College Student

Jonathan, age 20, is an undergraduate student in a health sciences program who is doing quite poorly, nearly failing his courses. His parents are outraged that the department is considering kicking him out of the program. At least one faculty member also suspects that he may be cheating on tests, although this is hard to prove.

Dr. Alice Almar is the college’s assistant dean in charge of meeting with students about academic dismissals and conduct issues. Jonathan’s parents requested to sit in on the meeting with Dr. Almar and their son.

In years gone by, such a meeting would have been an important point in an adult student’s learning process. Facing severe consequences can be motivating toward a career or away from a career. Perhaps a student like Jonathon will work harder or decide that this is not the field for him.

Therefore, it is a complicating factor when parents intervene in a young adult’s educational choices. Still, many universities have decided to engage the parents, rather than try to keep them out, when difficult decisions need to be made and the parents insist on being involved. Their interest and involvement is not completely unreasonable—after all, many of them are paying the tuition bills. Plus, many of them will become heavily involved in their student’s career options and housing plans if the student is excused from the university.

“Thank you for meeting with me, Jonathan. And I’m pleased to meet both of you today,” Dr. Almar said, introducing herself to Jonathan’s parents. “I’m glad you could join us for today’s important meeting. Please be seated and be comfortable,” said Dr. Almar.

“You need to know how concerned we are about Jonathan’s future!” his mother immediately went on the offensive, while his father nodded his head in agreement. “We are concerned that this university has not been giving our son the support he needs. We understand that he may have fallen a little behind, but we don’t understand why the teachers are not doing more to help him. We pay a lot in tuition to this school. Why are we now hearing that he may be failing out of the program?”

“I appreciate your concern,” Dr. Almar said. “I know this is an important time for all of you. We all have the same goal: to create a plan for which Jonathan can be successful, with a match to his future academic and career goals. We are facing some big decisions. Do you want to know how Jonathan is doing first? Or hear what some of our options are at this point?”

“Jonathan?” his mother said, angrily turning to her son.



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