Smoke Gets in Your Eyes Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs From Here to Eternity by Doughty Caitlin

Author:Doughty, Caitlin [Doughty, Caitlin]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Science, Epub3
ISBN: 9789123951215
Amazon: 9123951214
Goodreads: 50628396
Publisher: Canongate Books/W&N
Published: 2020-01-01T08:00:00+00:00

Everything about the decision to saw someone’s legs off is baffling. I didn’t believe this story when I first heard it, because cutting off a corpse’s feet or legs is something no funeral employee would do. It goes against common sense and professional ethics. Even if the dead man’s wife was begging, “Please, cut his legs off to bring me peace of mind,” doing so would break—you guessed it—abuse of a corpse laws, which are designed to protect a corpse from being maimed. It would also be a complete mess. Not that the mess is the biggest concern here, but it’s worth mentioning.

Honestly, the hardest part of this story to reconcile is the idea that the corpse wouldn’t fit in a casket. Six feet seven inches isn’t that absurdly tall when it comes to caskets. Most average-sized US caskets can accommodate someone who is six feet seven, or even seven feet tall. Even if the funeral home only had caskets in stock that were on the shorter side, they could easily order a larger casket, or even remove some of the inner lining of an in-stock casket to make some leg room. It’s hard to conceive of there ever being a time when sawing a guy’s legs off seemed like the more sensible option.

Okay, but what if the dead person is seriously tall, like Manute Bol, one of the two tallest men ever to play professional basketball in the NBA. Bol towered over . . . well . . . pretty much everyone, at seven feet seven inches, and his “wingspan” (measurement from fingertip to fingertip) was an unprecedented eight feet six inches. Can people that tall have caskets?

For the record, anybody can have a casket. “Oversize” caskets do cost more. I’m not saying this extra cost is fair, but it’s the reality of how the funeral industry operates. I’ve heard of caskets as long as eight feet. Even a quick internet search will turn up companies that specialize in making caskets for people who are larger than what’s considered standard size.

Finding a company to build a casket for someone who is seven feet seven inches tall might be harder—but there are custom casket companies who will build to your exact specifications. I can’t think of a realistic scenario where an extra-wide or extra-tall casket couldn’t be manufactured to fit any size corpse. Heck, there are even downloadable plans online for making your own DIY casket. You feelin’ crafty?

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