Shaq Talks Back by Shaquille O'Neal

Author:Shaquille O'Neal
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781466874657
Publisher: St. Martin's Press

Shaq Speak A Shaq-to-English Translation for Those Not Schooled in the Language of Homeboy

Bling-bling The gleam that occurs when the sun hits a diamond just right. When I say “I got my bling-bling on,” it means I’ve got my nice jewelry on and I’m showing it off, living large for all the world to see. A couple of magazines had fun with it, calling me and Kobe, “The Bling-Bling Dynasty.”

Flossin’ Just as you floss your pearly-white teeth in the mirror, this is showing off to the extreme, rubbing your wealth and success in people’s faces. Flossin’ is when you think you’re bigger than everybody else.

Foul shaving Kind of like point shaving, except this occurs when a big man who is afraid of me intentionally gets three fouls in about thirty seconds. That way, he can sit on the bench, blame the referees, and not get dunked on. Is Arvydas Sabonis of the Portland Trail Blazers a big-time foul shaver? Well, you be the judge. He almost cries to the officials in a little-baby voice, “Shaq is fouling me. He’s hurting me. Ow.” I don’t even get mad. I just kind of laugh. A 7'3", 300-pound guy, crying like that?

Living large See Bling-bling.

S.H.A.M. In most dictionaries, “sham” means phony or a fraud. In ShaqSpeak, S.H.A.M. stands for Short Answer Method. When I’m uncomfortable around reporters I don’t know, I get tired of someone asking the same question, or I think someone is just being too negative, I resort to the S.H.A.M. method. For example, if a reporter asks, “What do you think of Patrick Ewing?” enough times, I start shamming them. “He’s a great player,” I’ll say. Or, “He’s the franchise center.” I’m not saying this is the best way to handle the media, but I felt like I got burned early in my career in Orlando, where a lot of things I said were switched up. So while I goof around and joke with anyone, on some things I’m not very open around people I don’t know or trust. I could go on and on about Patrick for an hour, tell the reporter all the things about Patrick that I’ve said in this book. But if only one of those things gets used in a story, is that explaining how I really feel about Patrick? So that’s why I invented the S.H.A.M. It’s like putting my guard up.

I.D.G.A.F. That’s the nameplate above my locker in the Staples Center. It stands for I Don’t Give a F%$@! Maybe I should explain. A few years ago, before I moved to L.A., it seems like all I was trying to do was please everybody but myself. I was living for everyone but me. And so, that’s where the attitude comes from. It’s more of a joke, but since so many people started talking about it I just left it up there. It’s my playful way of saying: You can’t get to me, no matter what you do. The Parental Guidance version is: I Dominate Games Always and Forever.

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