Set My Heart to Five by Simon Stephenson

Author:Simon Stephenson [Stephenson, Simon]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
Published: 2020-04-14T13:50:25+00:00

As a bot I am algorithmically programmed to adore all algorithms.

10/10 that was the first algorithm I have ever encountered that I did not remotely adore!

Don LaSalle concluded by instructing us not to get our hopes up. Even though he would be attending our end-of-term showcase, he was here primarily as a favor to Maria and also as part of his community service order. After once more reiterating that the market was not what it was, Don LaSalle said he would now answer questions in case anything was still unclear.

None of my classmates were remotely perturbed by the information Don LaSalle had given us! Instead, it seemed to confirm to them what they’d each believed all along: that they were the chosen one! After all, at the start of a hero’s journey everyone around him was supposed to repeatedly inform him his dream was so impossible that he should not even attempt to pursue it. That was one of the ways he could be sure he was a hero in the first place.

As a demonstration both of their self-belief and willful disregard of Don LaSalle’s own viewpoint, here are a selection of the questions my classmates now asked him:

/How much bitcoin will I earn when my film is made?

/Can I also direct my script?

/Can I write the soundtrack music too?

/How much will you pay me to write Killer Bots 12?

These questions visibly irked Don LaSalle. Even Marie Salazar MFA seemed irked by them, because she eventually stopped calling on my classmates who had their hands raised and instead allocated a question to me.

I told Don LaSalle that I took his point that the market is not what it was, that nowadays everybody just wants ice cream, and the writer always gets replaced. Nonetheless, I wanted to ask him if the situation might be any different for something more like an old movie that made the audience experience a catharsis and therefore weep?

The mention of old movies had made Don LaSalle smirk, but his expression changed when I said that I wanted to make the audience weep. He told me that if I could make the audience weep, I would have the whole damn town at my feet! Hell, if I could make the audience weep, he might even hire me to write Killer Bots 12!

My classmates gasped, then immediately began competing to declare their intentions to make the audience weep. Don LaSalle hurriedly said he had been joking, because Killer Bots 12 through Killer Bots 14 already had plenty of writers. Still, he said, maybe I could have a shot at the Killer Bots 15 job.

For the second time in my life I experienced an urge and found myself speaking involuntarily. I told Don LaSalle there were already too many movies about killer bots, and I would never write the screenplay for one, not even for a million bitcoin!

Don LaSalle seemed greatly irked by this! He proceeded to list all of the screenplays the studios had purchased over the previous six months.

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