Self-Esteem for Women: The Ultimate Self-Help Guide to Building Habits that Will Improve Your Confidence, Self-Compassion, Assertiveness, Self-Love, and Mindset by Montano Dara

Author:Montano, Dara
Language: eng
Format: epub, pdf
Published: 2020-03-12T00:00:00+00:00

Habit Number Two: Take It to The Tribe

For a moment, think about friends that you know and trust. These are usually people who make you feel good about being who you are. The fact that you can choose your friendships is a bonus that many do not take. For example, if someone makes you feel small, why do you spend so much time being influenced by that negativity? For the sake of this exercise, write down a list of people that you know and divide them into three columns. The first column will be casual friendships, or perhaps people you know from work but don't have any real contact with them outside of the workplace. Then you have the column of people you cannot avoid. These may be family and friends of the family with whom you are not close, but who will nonetheless influence the way you feel about yourself.

The last column is the tribe. These are people you tell your secrets to. They are the folks who stand by you through thick and thin and who don't mind listening to your woes as well as sharing your victories. These are the most important influences on your self-esteem, as they make you feel good about yourself. The idea of this exercise is to weigh how much time you spend with each type of person. The second group can include people you know through your family but who are emotionally draining or friends that you once trusted but who use you. One of the least healthy types of friendship is the user, as this is a person who will make you feel that you are there to listen to them but who never listen to you. They are the people who ask favors but never return them. These are one-sided relationships that are almost toxic to your self-esteem and who make you feel like someone else's doormat.

It's vital to divide your time more beneficially so that you spend more time with your true tribe – those who love and understand you and who like you as you are. These are people who will build self-esteem and make you feel good about who you are. If you can divide your time a little more efficiently so that you get to hang out with those people more, then you will certainly increase your self-esteem. People who use you are breaking your self-esteem down, so you need to learn to say "no," even if you feel that you don't have a valid excuse. Excuses are not necessary, and although the first time is always the hardest, they will soon get the message and move on to someone else who is willing to do their bidding. The power that you gain from making your own choices will have been worth it.

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