Scags at 30 by Deborah Emin

Author:Deborah Emin
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Sullivan Street Press
Published: 2016-04-15T00:00:00+00:00

February 19, 1981

Dear Lauren,

Have you heard the news today? Oy vey. I’ve found Margaret. Or she’s contacted me.

She was arrested! I know. I am incredulous. She called me from the Tombs. There is such a place. She was arrested in New Jersey with another nun and priest for trespassing on a military base and pouring blood, their own blood, on the planes that carry nuclear warheads.

How is this possible? I came home on Monday afternoon, and within minutes I received a call from her lawyer. A very nice man who is sympathetic to what Margaret and her fellow jailbirds are doing.

He gave me information, which he wisely told me to write down. Papers and accounts Margaret has in her apartment that she needs me to get for her.

You know how angry I was at her for backing out of our weekend away at the last minute. You know that I was so upset, I didn’t arrive in the best shape or friendly or even willing to talk.

I have to say that her backing out for this reason, which at that point she couldn’t tell me, well, I behaved badly, I know. I apologize, and I also thank you for letting me stay and settle down. It was good to see you, to be with you and Rose and Sally.

I’ve gone over the past few days. My mind jerks from not wanting to continue this romantic/spiritual journey into the unknowable future to not wanting to break off all relations with her. She made me so angry when she told me at the last moment that she could not go.

I knew she was lying to me. But I never would have guessed that this was what she was lying about.

The FBI has been watching her and now me too. Imagine that. I can’t help laughing about it. Me? What would Charles say?

Here I am now, with so many different worries than my job or whether I should stay with Margaret. Of course I should stay with Margaret. She’s gone in a very short time from being my lover to becoming my hero.

I saw her first at her lawyer’s office. I had delivered the papers she needed. The next day, I went back to his office, and there she was. She looked so tired and hungry. I wanted to take her home, but there were legal things she needed to take care of, and I planned on leaving and coming back for her.

Here’s the biggest surprise of all. We had to agree that I become a guardian of her estate. She’s going to prison. They’re pretty sure that she’ll be going away for at least a couple of years. Or more.

I’m still processing that. I don’t know how they know that or why she did this if she knew she would be going to prison. She’ll be going to a federal prison.

While she’s away, I will be in charge of most of her legal and financial affairs. They explained it to me. Personally, it makes it sound like we will be married.

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