Salvation by Noelle Adams

Author:Noelle Adams [Adams, Noelle]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: Noelle Adams
Published: 2013-06-21T04:00:00+00:00

Seven

Gideon came back over to my place first thing the following morning.

It was early for a Saturday, but I’d been awake all night and was relieved to get moving on the conversation when he texted at seven to see if I was up yet. Maybe he want to get it over with too. Either way, a couple of hours later, he was sitting on my couch with a cup of coffee in his hand.

My head ached, and my eyes burned from brooding all night, and three cups of coffee that morning had done nothing to clear my head.

I didn’t know how to begin, so I just watched Gideon take a sip. His eyes were searching my face in the way they used to all the time, but they hadn’t done as much for the last several weeks. Wary. Like he was probing for signs of a mental collapse.

Finally, I said, “You’re the one who wanted to have this conversation.”

He let out a breath and put down his mug. “I think we need to have this conversation.”

“So start.”

I know I sounded rude, but I felt like I was already on the verge of tears. The thing is, I already knew my final word on this topic. I’d figured it all out last night. I wanted to just burst out with it and get the whole thing over with, but that wouldn’t be fair to Gideon.

He needed to say what he wanted to say too—even if I didn’t want to hear it—and then we could get to the conclusion I already knew.

He cleared his throat. He must have spent time last night thinking through how he was going to approach this too because he clearly had a careful strategy planned. I could sense it just from the precision of his words. “I know you’re scared by what happened last night, but I don’t think we should let fear make decisions for us.”

I looked down at my hands. “Sometimes it has to.”

“Temporarily, maybe. But not forever.”

“I haven’t changed my mind about what I told you last night. I can never be with you that way. I don’t even know how it happened.”

“Don’t you? It’s been coming for a while.”

“What?” My head jerked up, feeling a wave of betrayal, like he’d turned into an entirely different person. “What do you mean? So all this time, you’ve been...you’ve been plotting about how to get me in bed?”

His face tightened, like he was offended or angry. Or maybe just impatient with me. “No. You know better than that. Everything about our relationship has been real. From the very beginning.”

“But you said—”

“I said it’s been coming for a while. That’s what’s been happening to our relationship. I’ve wanted to kiss you for a long time, but this thing isn’t one-sided. Last night, you wanted to kiss me too.”

My skin had felt cold and pale all morning, but now my cheeks burned with a flush. I ducked my head again. “That doesn’t mean anything.”

“What are you talking about? Of course, it means something.

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