Round Ireland With a Fridge by Tony Hawks

Author:Tony Hawks [Hawks, Tony]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Europe, Juvenile Nonfiction, Humor, Travel, Northern Ireland, Essays & Travelogues, General, Northern Ireland - Description and travel, Ireland, Ireland - Description and travel, Hawks; Tony - Travel - Ireland, History
ISBN: 9780312242367
Publisher: Macmillan
Published: 2000-02-15T08:00:00+00:00

13

Freedom

Westport was next. At breakfast Marjorie had said it was a lovely little town, and that I should go to Matt Molloy’s pub and get Mick Levell to sing the ‘Lotto Song’. This had made absolutely no sense to me, and for that reason alone it seemed an apposite destination.

Outside the florists, Martin the taxi driver had waited patiently in his taxi as I had collected my second bouquet of the trip, and he was doing the same now as I nervously walked up the path to Roisin’s front door. Even though he was clearly amused by my decision to deliver these flowers, he had agreed that it was the right thing to do.

‘Ah, if you said you’d bring her flowers, then bring her flowers. What harm can it do?’

She lived in a small residential estate, at number twenty-four. As I rang the bell, I felt more nerves than I had before performing at the Royal Gala. I didn’t know what to expect. The door opened and there was lovely Roisin, not wearing any make-up, unlike the night before, but somehow looking fresher for it. I smiled and brandished the flowers.

‘Hello, remember me?’

She looked absolutely horrified. Then she put her forefinger over her mouth indicating to me to be quiet and did something which I thought only happened in poor situation comedies. For the benefit of someone inside the house, she announced to me in a loud voice, ‘NO THANK YOU, NOT TODAY—WE DON’T NEED ANY.’

Oh no! Somebody was inside who shouldn’t know about me. I began to panic. God, what had I done? Perhaps last night things between her and second-date Paul had moved on a pace and he was in there, having stayed the night. Perhaps he had a vicious temper, a criminal record, and a penchant for brandishing things less benign than flowers. Was Martin’s question on the subject of the flowers—‘What harm can they do?’—about to be comprehensively answered?

Roisin leant forward and whispered to me. Even in these uneasy circumstances, it felt good to be close to her.

‘My aunt’s in the house.’

Her aunt? So what? What’s so special about her aunt? This was a new one on me. A jealous aunt?

Roisin must have known from the look of disbelief on my face that I was in need of elucidation.

‘Look, I didn’t tell you this last night, but I’m recently separated from my husband, and the family don’t know about Paul, let alone…’

‘The idiot with the flowers.’

‘Yes. I mean no. Not at all. You’re not an eejit.’

I bloody was. What if the husband were to turn up now? The jealous, violent psychopath of a husband.

‘YES, WELL THANK YOU. TRYAGAIN NEXT WEEK,’ announced Roisin for the benefit of the Aunt.

‘I’d better go.’

‘I’m sorry.’

This had all been rather disappointing. I handed her the flowers.

‘Thank you, Tony. That’s sweet.’

‘Look, I’ve got a mobile phone, I’ll give you the number, if you ever feel like giving me a call.

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