Ross O'Carroll-Kelly, The Miseducation Years: 1 by Paul Howard

Author:Paul Howard [Howard, Paul]
Language: eng
Format: mobi
ISBN: 9781847174406
Publisher: The O'Brien Press
Published: 2004-06-17T23:00:00+00:00

I’ve got, like, four new messages, roysh. Keeva says she’s SO sorry for flipping out in her last message, that I must think she is OHMYGOD! SUCH a psycho and that I probably already have enough on my plate, what with the semi-final coming up, but when it’s over maybe we could go for a drink, or to the cinema or something, that Jerry Maguire is supposed to be OHMYGOD! SO amazing, and then she says thanks for the advice that night on what song they should do for the graduation and that they’ve actually decided to do ‘One Moment in Time’ by, like, Whitney Houston, which wasn’t her choice, it was Jade’s, as in Rotary Club Jade, who is SUCH a lickorse that Miss Holohan would ACTUALLY take her word over the word of the deputy head girl, we’re talking, HELLO? Sorcha rang twice to say she needs to speak to me urgently and will I get my finger out of my orse and return her calls. And Oisinn rang to say he wants to meet up – as captain of the S – and have a chat about the game against the Gick, which is only, like, ten days away now.

I ring him back, roysh, and we arrange to go for, like, a sauna out in Riverview. His old man’s a member. So I hop out of the sack, have a shower and grab a glass of orange juice while I’m deciding what to wear. I go for the old All Blacks jersey, black O’Neill’s tracksuit bottoms and the old brown Dubes, but then I’m thinking, roysh, that maybe me and Oisinn will end up hitting town for a few scoops later on and I don’t want to have to come back home, so I change into my navy Armani mock turtleneck, my tan G-Star deckpants, Dubes and my navy Henri Lloyd and, not being big-headed or anything, but I look shit-hot.

Meet Oisinn in the place. He high-fives me and we hit the bor, order a couple of Cokes, bit early to go on the batter. He asks me if I heard about Aoife, roysh, and I’m there, ‘No,’ and he says she totally flipped out in the rugby club on Friday night, storted going totally ballistic, telling Fionn he was this, that and the other. I’m there, ‘That girl has totally lost it since Fionn red-corded her,’ and he goes, ‘She lost it long ago, Ross. That’s why Fionn got rid. She was wrecking his head. She’s very focked up. Sorcha’s very worried about her.’ I’m there, ‘Sorcha? Must be why she’s ringing me constantly. Needs a shoulder to cry on, if you know what I mean,’ and Oisinn laughs and high-fives me and tells me I’m the man, which I have to say I am.

We hit the sauna then and Oisinn gives me this big major pep talk, which I really need at the moment. He reminds me how important the game against the Gick is,

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