Rock and a Hard Place by Stephen J Martin

Author:Stephen J Martin [Martin, Stephen J.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: General, Fiction, Humorous
ISBN: 9781856355490
Publisher: Mercier Press

***

The next night was Jimmy’s official welcome party in work.

‘So, where are we going tonight?’ he asked Shiggy.

‘Nice restaurant. I pick. Berry dericious food.’

‘Grand.’

They all met downstairs in the lobby, about a dozen of them, including the head of the department, Sakamoto-san. He was a bigwig all right. The Japanese lads nearly fell over themselves bowing at him whenever he opened his gob. To Jimmy he didn’t seem like much. He was in charge, but he wasn’t technical. He didn’t even seem too concerned about Jimmy’s work and just nodded every now and again in the few meetings he bothered his arse going to. Maybe he was a regular busy bee behind the scenes, but to Jimmy he just seemed to be the bloke that said yes or no – and even then he seemed to do it on the spur of the moment, rather than after careful and considered deliberation. Anyway, Jimmy didn’t give a fuck. He just smiled and tried to be polite and let them get on with their end of things their way.

They caught a subway into Shinjuku, the part of town Shiggy had said he’d bring himself and Aesop to one day. It was like its own little city, full of skyscrapers and restaurants and the usual flashing neon and traffic noises. Tokyo had a mad mix of traditional and modern going on: outside the most sophisticated-looking buildings, all steel and mirrored walls, you might easily see a little old fart selling baked sweet potatoes out of the back of his rickety van. Or right next to a ludicrously complicated fountain sculpture, you might see a wooden restaurant with red lanterns hanging outside. The oul biddy in the kimono would be sitting next to the punk rocker on the train. Jimmy loved it. It was cool. Mad but cool.

They all congregated outside the restaurant and Jimmy looked up at the sign: Unagi, it said.

‘What’s that mean?’ he asked Shiggy, pointing.

‘Means “eel”,’ said Shiggy. ‘In Japan, berry important fish.’

‘Is it? That’s nice. What kind of food do they have?’

‘Unagi,’ said Shiggy.

‘Eel? What else?’

‘Just eel.’

‘Shiggy,’ Jimmy whispered now, his face stuck in a polite smile for the others. ‘Are you telling me I’ll be eating fucking eels tonight?’

‘Yep. Well, you have choice of course.’

‘What’s the choice?’

‘Hungry or eat eel.’

‘You fucking gee-bag. You said you picked this place.’

Shiggy smiled.

‘You said you want to learn about Japan.’

‘You know that’s not what I meant!’

‘Eel berry good. Try.’

‘You fucker …’ said Jimmy, under his breath as the others herded him inside.

He bent low to avoid smacking his head off the doorframe and immediately saw that his shoes would have to come off. He was getting used to this. Any place that had the slightest bit of tradition to it – a restaurant like this for instance – was a no-shoe zone. The floors were made of straw mats and you sat on your arse on a cushion and tried to find somewhere to fit your legs. Jimmy sat between Shiggy and Sakamoto-san and tried to get comfortable, but he knew it was pointless.

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