Return to Paradise by Simone Elkeles

Author:Simone Elkeles
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub, pdf
ISBN: 9780738718682
Publisher: Llewellyn Worldwide
Published: 2011-07-02T16:51:07+00:00

NINETEEN

Caleb

can't do this," I tell Damon again. Shit, my knee has been shaking nonstop since he started driving.

Damon pats me on the back again, as if he's a friend of mine and will stand by me no matter what. "Yes, you can. Trust me."

Trust him? When was the last time I actually trusted anyone without getting screwed? "Whatever, dude."

"Listen, you're stronger than you think, Caleb. These kids are looking for role models."

I swipe sweat off my forehead. "Get a clue, Damon. I'm not a role model, and I don't want to be one. What am I gonna tell these guys, that I went to jail for something I didn't do?"

"It's your choice what you tell them."

I look up at the brick building that I lived in for almost a year. I had to get up at six thirty and shower in front of others, I had to eat when they said eat, and when I needed to use the facilities during juvie school, I was escorted into the bathroom so I could crap. It was pathetic.

Just like back then, it doesn't seem like I have any choice in the matter. I follow Yates and the other ReSTART guys towards the male sector, but look back and watch Ms. Bushnell escort the girls to the other sector. Maggie is limping behind her. Very soon she's going to see the reality of how I lived for a year. I wish I could stop her from going in there.

When I was in the DOC, the girls and guys never saw each other. We had school a few hours a day, went to group therapy, were assigned chores, went outside for an hour, ate three meals, and had the rest of the day to chill in our cells. We were encouraged to read a lot or study to pass the time, but a lot of the guys hated reading or couldn't read worth shit.

In the intake center waiting room, my hands are shaking a little, so I shove them into my pockets as I stand and scan the security guards and security cameras and securely locked doors. I glance at the waiting cells, where you get locked up before they register you. Bad memories come flooding back.

After registering as an offender here, they confiscate every single piece of clothing and personal item and keep them locked up until you're released. The strip search is next, and let me tell you, the guard who does it makes sure you're not hiding any contraband in any crevice of your body.

Yates holds out a clear plastic bin. "Empty all your pockets. I mean everything, including pens, pencils, money, wallets, and paper."

We all do as instructed, then we're escorted through a bunch of locked doors and corridors. We come to a room where inmates meet their families and friends on visitors' day.

"We've decided to pair you off," Yates says. "You'll each be meeting with our residents one-on-one. That way, we can have shifts and you guys can share your stories in a small setting.

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