Relative Discomfort by Jeremy Greenberg

Author:Jeremy Greenberg [Greenberg, Jeremy]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-0-7407-9055-3
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
Published: 2008-01-15T00:00:00+00:00

Sincerely.

Alisa Stack

I’LL NEED TO SEE SOME ID

The above letter should hopefully shame your family into keeping cool (or piss them off to the point of not attending—either way, you win). What you must then plan for are the relatives who become irate but still show up. These are probably the same folks who were going to cause trouble anyway, so the fact that you’ve given them a bit of ammunition won’t matter once you employ the second phase of the plan: hire some bouncers. If your sister stands up from dinner and yells, “Yuck! I hate fish,” your rent-a-thug can drag her out of the reception by her braided pigtails, and toss her into a nearby koi pond. Nothing keeps a wedding peaceful like roving ex-cons wearing bloodstained pants.

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