Redemption by Stephie Walls

Author:Stephie Walls [Walls, Stephie]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Stephie Walls
Published: 2017-06-20T18:30:00+00:00

“What do you want me to do, Lissa? I didn’t choose my deployment date any more than you chose the date for the trial to start.”

“I don’t have anyone else, Matt. If you’re not there, I will be alone.”

“What is your suggestion? Would you like my Sargent’s phone number to see if you can get me an excused absence?” His callous words did nothing to help the situation, and the sarcasm was uncalled for.

I sat down hunched over in the kitchen chair with my elbows rested on my knees and my head in my hands. My long hair created a curtain to shield my face, but I didn’t bother crying. It wouldn’t change the circumstances. “There’s no one left.” The statement was more an acknowledgment to myself than an invitation for Matt’s response.

“Actions have consequences, Lissa. Yours were the gravest. You think being alone is worse than being dead?”

I stood slowly and stared him in the eye. “I think being dead would be the easy way out for me, and I contemplate that route daily. But I’m aware I have to pay for what I did, and no court can hand down a sentence any greater than the one I’ve imposed on myself. I know you’re hurting. I took your blood away from you, from your family, from everyone who loved him. But I didn’t do it on purpose. I will live with the guilt for the rest of my life, whether that’s twenty-four more hours or decades. Your being cruel won’t change that either way. So if this is the way our relationship is going to be from here on out, maybe we should both reconsider where it’s going.” I never raised my voice, I hadn’t gotten emotional and cried on him, but I had laid it on the line. It was time to fish or cut bait.

Matt cut bait.

“You’re right. My staying with you sends the world a message I don’t want them to receive. I thought this would be easier to do after I’d been gone for nine months, and the trial was over, but if you want to do it now, we can.”

I waited for the final slap in the face. It wasn’t a literal beating, but that might have been easier to face.

“I think we should put the house on the market and go our separate ways.”

Another time, another place, I had the personality to match the hair. I was a spitfire even as an introvert. When I got riled up, I expressed it, but defeat looked different than fight. I removed the diamond ring I’d worn for the last year and lifted his hand from his side. Turning his fingers over, I exposed his palm. I trembled as I set the ring in his grasp and then carefully folded it up in the security of his grip. I lifted up and pressed my cheek to his with tear-filled eyes.

“I’m so sorry I let you down.” Then I kissed his jaw and walked away.

I called a real estate agent the following morning after a sleepless night without Matt.

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