Random by Penn Jillette
Author:Penn Jillette
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Akashic Books
No, no, no, no, no, no, yes, maybe, yes.
Tell us your sob story.
In the empty space provided, Carson typed with his thumbs that he was accused of rape in a #MeToo moment that got out of hand. He was an outspoken atheist, and worse, he and his wife were in a very happy polyamorous bisexual relationship. Heâd been fired from his college position because a graduate student in a different department, who had nothing to do with Carson academically, had asked Carsonâs wife if they wanted to have a threesome sometime. Carsonâs wife said it sounded like fun and she would ask Carson. She hadnât gotten around to asking Carson. For the record, he would have said yes because he always said yes to everything. It was his most charming feature. Want to go to the movies? Yes. He didnât ask what movie. Want to go to Antarctica? Yes. He didnât ask when or why. Want to blow my ex-boyfriend? Yes. He didnât ask who. But Polly (yes, that was his wifeâs name, it was cute and funny until they got into court and then it seemed too late to fall back to âDorothyâ) hadnât gotten around to asking him yet. Carson wasnât even in the loop, let alone the threesome, when an undergraduate cis male overheard the conversation in the quad and brought a complaint to the administration because of the power imbalance. Carson was a big shot, so considering sex with a graduate student was wrong, even though Carson hadnât even known about the request to consider it. The investigation went on and on and brought up all sorts of things. It was a pig pile on a pig. Any lawyer will tell you the pervert always loses, but add to that that the pervert was cis male, considered âwhiteâ (who knows for reals what that even means?), successful, a free-speech extremist, and an asshole, and Carson was belly-up dead in the water floating.
Then came the rape charge. There had been a drunken orgy years before, when Carson was an undergraduate. It really was drunken, and it really was an orgy, it really was rape, and Carson really was there. There was a picture of his ass that was presented in court and someone swore on the fucking Bible it was Carsonâs ass fucking, but who cares? He was there and had already admitted it. It might have been his ass. He had fucked at the party, all sober and all with consent, and he admitted it. He wasnât very drunk, and he remembered who he fucked, and it wasnât her. It wasnât even a woman. And the accuser didnât remember who she fucked, and she thought it might have been him. There was the trial and it was awful and there went all his and Pollyâs money to lawyers, paralegals, and investigators. There are really good, important laws that protect the victim by not allowing the defense attorney to bring up the fact that she was going out all the time during this same time period and drinking until she blacked out.
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